


Seize the Gay

by averywrites



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, F/F, Gen, Group Chat Fic, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Polyamory, Texting, Trans Male Character, and davey, everyones a mess tbh, jack is a mess, no one is straight, race and romeo have a bromance, so is romeo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2018-10-28 06:25:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 13,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10825611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/averywrites/pseuds/averywrites
Summary: The newsies are all in a group chat together and everyone's pining





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Usernames:  
> DavidJacobs-guess  
> GoodBi-Jack  
> SpottedInBrooklyn-Spot  
> BetOnIt-Race  
> RidinInStyle-Crutchie  
> WatchWhatHappens-Kath  
> GayerJacobs-Sarah  
> MushedPotatoes-Mush  
> PatchedUp-Blink  
> GlassesAndAsses-Specs  
> WhereforeArtThouDICK-Romeo

_Seize the Gay_

**BetOnIt:** sometimes i wonder if my father is in the mafia  
 **GoodBi:** race wtf  
 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ur dad is p scary  
 **BetOnIt:** he also disappears randomly  
 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** #higginsIsMafia2k17  
 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** that explains how ur so fuckin rich  
 **BetOnIt:** my rich ass is the reason u aren't in jail so stfu  
 **GoodBi:** things are heating up in the higgins-conlon house  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** that is a stale meme get out  
 **GoodBi:** this is biphobia  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** fight me  
 **GoodBi:** dennys @ 2 am  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** its on  
 **GayerJacobs:** not again  
 **MushedPotatoes:** why are y’all like this  
 **DavidJacobs:** Bad parenting.  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** hes not wrong  
 **WhereforeArtThouDick:** GUYS WHAT DO U DO WHEN A VERY HOT GUY SENDS YOU A SHIRTLESS PIC  
 **BetOnIt:** send one back duh  
 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** but he is Hot and I am Not  
 **BetOnIt:** I know ur password if u don't I will  
 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** nO  
 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** I'll b back  
 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** hE SCREENSHOTTED IT IM CRYIN  
 **GoodBi:** get some  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** who even is this mystery hot guy  
 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** he is...a guy  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** thanks for clarifying  
 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** yw

_PM with SpottedInBrooklyn_

**BetOnIt:** get ur bitch ass over here and cuddle with me you little shit  
 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** im busy  
 **BetOnIt:** too busy for ur bf? :’(  
 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** not ur bf  
 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** but fine ill b there in 20 with pizza  
 **BetOnIt:** ur the best non-bf  
 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** sure  
 **BetOnIt:** <3<3<3<3  
 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** fuck off  
 **BetOnIt:** :D

_PM with WatchWhatHappens_

**GoodBi:** kath help  
 **GoodBi:** crutchie is asleep on me and its the cutest thing ive ever seen  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** jesus christ just ask them out  
 **GoodBi:** no!!  
 **GoodBi:** i am The Worst theres no way someone as Pure and Good as crutchie would go out with me  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** you never know unless you try  
 **GoodBi:** ur the worst im never coming to you again

_30 mins later_

**GoodBi:** kath help  
 **GoodBi:** davey is now also asleep on me im cryin this is a dream come tru  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** ask! them! out!  
 **GoodBi:** no! way! in! heck!  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** if u never ask them out ur going to be pining for the rest of ur life  
 **GoodBi:** thats better than being rejected and shunned by them forever  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** that would never happen  
 **GoodBi:** theyre probably not even poly  
 **GoodBi:** im cryin theyre so cute im gonna die  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** take a pic so you can stare at it and remind yourself to ask them out  
 **GoodBi:** u r a genius!! Not the asking out part tho thats not happening  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** im going to lock you three in a room until you get together  
 **GoodBi:** well wed be in there awhile  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** put on ur big gay pants and ask them out  
 **GoodBi:** never  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** this is why i left you for sarah  
 **GoodBi:** i think the whole lesbian thing also contributed to that  
 **WatchWhatHappens:** tru

_Seize the Gay_   
_04:20 am_

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** blaze it  
 **BetOnIt:** blaze it  
 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** go the fuck to sleep


	2. Everyone's Pining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Davey pines, Specs gives Romeo a heart attack, Blush meet, the newsbians are So Done

_ Seize the Gay _

**RidinInStyle:** hey guys!! I have a friend i think you guys will like can i add him

**GoodBi:** of course crutchie!

_ RidinInStyle has added GlassesandAsses to Seize the Gay _

**RidinInStyle:** Everyone this is Specs, Specs this is everyone!!

**GlassesAndAsses:** hey im specs obv

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** fuck gotta blast

_ WhereforeArtThouDICK has left the chat _

**GlassesAndAsses:** um bye??

 

_ PM with BetOnIt _

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** RACE HELP

**BetOnIt:** what

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** THATS THE HOT SHIRTLESS GUY

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** WHAT DO I DO

**BetOnIt:** well i dont think leaving the chat was a good decision

**BetOnIt:** perhaps consider sucking his dick?

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** no theres no way hes like 1000000 levels above me

**BetOnIt:** didnt he screenshot ur pic? Thats tru love right there

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** it was probably an accident

**BetOnIt:** how do u screenshot something on accident 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** idk but im sure he did it

**BetOnIt:** sure

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ur the worst why are we friends

**BetOnIt:** because 420 blaze it

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** u right 420 blaze it

 

_ BetOnIt has added WhereforeArtThouDICK to Seize the Gay _

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** 420 blaze it

**GlassesAndAsses:** weed?! In my christian suburbs?!?! Its more likely than you think

 

_ PM with BetOnIt _

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** im cryin hes adorable and funny

 

_ Seize the Gay _

**MushedPotatoes:**  ohmygod guys the cute starbucks barista wrote his number on my cup aaAAH!!!!!!!!

**DavidJacobs:** Aw. Good for you Mush.

**GayerJacobs:** THATS ADORABLE

**GoodBi:** have you texted him yet??

**MushedPotatoes:** no i dont know what to say pls help

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:**  ask if hes dtf

**WatchWhatHappens:** just say “hi im the guy from starbucks”

**MushedPotatoes:** but what if he gave his number to multiple guys at starbucks D:

**WatchWhatHappens:** i doubt it

**RidinInStyle:** be confident!! I believe in you!!

**MushedPotatoes:** okay i sent it

**MushedPotatoes:**  he replied!!

**MushedPotatoes:**  he said im cute!!! im cryin!!!

**BetOnIt:** get some

**WatchWhatHappens:** ignore him. Thats great!

**MushedPotatoes:** we’re going to get ice cream together !! I gotta go find an outfit bye guys!!

**RidinInStyle:** bye!! Have fun on your date!!

 

_ PM with WhereforeArtThouDICK _

**GlassesAndAsses:** r u romeo from snapchat?

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** possibly

**GlassesAndAsses:** oh cool

**GlassesAndAsses:** ur pretty hot

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** thnx ur pretty hot too

**GlassesAndAsses:** wanna maybe meet up some time?

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** sure yeah whenevers fine i have no life

 

_ PM with BetOnIt _

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** imcrYIN specs said im hot and he wants to meet

**BetOnIt:** get some

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** thats the goal

 

_ PM with SpottedInBrooklyn _

**BetOnIt:** dude r u like alive

**BetOnIt:** u havent talked in the gc

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** theres this thing called work

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** thats what people who dont have a trust fund have to do

**BetOnIt:** rude

**BetOnIt:** my parents arent home

**BetOnIt:** wanna come over

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** ill think about it

**BetOnIt:** pls

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** fine

**BetOnIt:** ;D

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** i hate u

**BetOnIt:** luv u too bb :* 

 

_ PM with GayerJacobs _

**DavidJacobs:** Sarah, I just accidentally looked through Jack’s sketchbook and there’s so many drawings of me.

**GayerJacobs:** see!! He does like you!!

**DavidJacobs:** Well, I wasn’t the only one he drew so no he doesn’t.

**GayerJacobs:** how many drawings were there

**DavidJacobs:** I don’t know, about half of the sketchbook maybe?

**GayerJacobs:** davey. He likes you.

**DavidJacobs:** No there’s no way.

**DavidJacobs:** I have to go, I’m meeting Crutchie for an English project.

**GayerJacobs:** have fun pining

 

_ PM with WatchWhatHappens _

**GayerJacobs:** please tell me we were not as bad as davey before we got together

**WatchWhatHappens:** no ones as bad as davey jack and crutchie when it comes to pining

**GayerJacobs:** he literally found a sketchbook full of drawings of him and still doesnt believe jack likes him

**GayerJacobs:** im going to explode if they dont get together soon

**WatchWhatHappens:** we could always lock them in a closet

**GayerJacobs:** good plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming to a chapter 3 near you: Crutchie makes Jack and Davey overdose on adorableness, trouble in Sprace, Blush continue their fanfiction lives, the newsbians are still So Done


	3. It's all fun and games until someone catches the feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crutchie is adorable, Blush is actually in a fanfiction, and Romeo and Race are the best of bros

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact the backspace key fell off my keyboard while typing this

_Seize the Gay_

 

 **RidinInStyle:** i just accidentally came out as polyamorous to my mom and now im hiding in my room help!!

 **GoodBi:** ur poly?!

 **RidinInStyle:** whoops did i forget to mention that??

 **DavidJacobs:** Yes.

 **RidinInStyle:** whoops!!

 **WatchWhatHappens:** ignore those two useless idiots. You just gotta talk to ur mom itll b fine!

 **RidinInStyle:** But what if its not!!

 **GlassesAndAsses:** ull never know if u stay in ur room forever

 **RidinInStyle:** aaaah!!! wish me luck!!

 **GoodBi:** good luck crutchie!!

 **DavidJacobs:** Good luck!

 

_PM with WatchWhatHappens_

 

 **GoodBi:** kath im scREAMIN

 **GoodBi:** crutchies poly!!!!

 **WatchWhatHappens:** i t o l d you

 **GoodBi:** this is however useless if davey is not

 **WatchWhatHappens:** this is false

 **WatchWhatHappens:** davey is _for sure_ poly

 **GoodBi:** this is false

 **GoodBi:** davey has _for sure_ never given any hint to this

 **WatchWhatHappens:** i am on ur side and yet here u r going against urself

 **GoodBi:** has there ever been a time i am on my own side? i think not

 **WatchWhatHappens:** get on ur own side for once in ur goddamn life

 **GoodBi:** never

 **WatchWhatHappens:** this is why i left you for sarah

 

_PM with GayerJacobs_

 

 **DavidJacobs:** Sarah!

 **DavidJacobs:** Crutchie’s polyamorous!

 **DavidJacobs:** Ah!

 **GayerJacobs:** they are! Ask them out!

 **DavidJacobs:** No!

 **GayerJacobs:** if you dont do it then it wont happen! U gotta!

 **DavidJacobs:** No!

 **DavidJacobs:** I am full of anxiety!

 **GayerJacobs:** dont let your anxiety control you! Ask jack and crutchie out!

 **DavidJacobs:** Je ne parle pas anglais. Je suis désolé.

 **GayerJacobs:** goddamnit

 

_Seize the Gay_

 

 **RidinInStyle:** she didnt know what polyamorous meant but shes fine with it!!

 **WatchWhatHappens:** yay!!

 **GlassesAndAsses:** thats great!!

 **GayerJacobs:** ahh im so happy for you!!

 **RidinInStyle:** i shouldve done all three coming outs at once coming out three times is exhausting

 **RidinInStyle:** this pan poly nonbinary pal is going to take a nap bye guys!!

 **GoodBi:** bye have a good nap!!   
**DavidJacobs:** Bye!

 **MushedPotatoes:** if i add blink to the chat will you guys like,,not scare him away pls??

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** whos blink

 **MushedPotatoes:** the cute starbucks barista

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ok yes we need to approve of him add him

 **MushedPotatoes:** dont scare him!!

 

_MushedPotatoes has added PatchedUp to Seize the Gay_

 

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** welcome cute starbucks barista

 **MushedPotatoes:** romeo!

 **PatchedUp:** ive always wanted to be the cute starbucks barista of the relationship

 **WhereforeArtThou:** i like him he can stay

 **PatchedUp:** glad to have ur approval

 **PatchedUp:** also who is everyone

 **GoodBi:** im jack he/him

 **DavidJacobs:** I’m David, he/him pronouns please.

 **WatchWhatHappens:** katherine/kath she/her

 **GayerJacobs:** sarah she/her and the better jacobs

 **GlassesAndAsses:** specs he/him

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** romeo he/him and yes this is my real name

 **BetOnIt:** race he/him

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** spot he/him

 **GoodBi:** theres also RidinInStyle aka crutchie they/them pronouns theyre sleeping rn

 **PatchedUp:** im blink as i assume mush has told you he/him

 **MushedPotatoes:** ok cool nice talk im taking him to the fair here bye!

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** use protection!

 **MushedPotatoes:** ROMEO!

 

_PM with SpottedInBrooklyn_

 

 **BetOnIt:** so mush and blink r pretty cute together

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** ye

 **BetOnIt:** going on dates and all

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** ye

 **BetOnIt:** what if we

 **BetOnIt:** hypothetically

 **BetOnIt:** went on a date

 **BetOnIt:** hypothetically

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** what if we

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** hypothetically

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** stuck with what we agreed on in the beginning

 **BetOnIt:** oh

 **BetOnIt:** k.

 

_PM with WhereforeArtThouDICK_

 

 **BetOnIt:** ok so hypothetically what would u do if u caught feelings for the person uve been platonically fucking

 **BetOnIt:** hypothetically

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** what the fuck

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** who have u been fucking

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** what

 **BetOnIt:** this is a hypothetical situation

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** this is very obviously not a hypothetical situation

 **BetOnIt:** possibly...it is a very real situation

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** why have u never told me

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** also who

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** also how many feelings have you caught

 **BetOnIt:** too many

 **BetOnIt:** and he wanted to keep it secret

 **BetOnIt:** and now i think he hates me

 **BetOnIt:** because i asked him out

 **BetOnIt:** pls help

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** say it was a joke?

 **BetOnIt:** too late for that

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** talk it out like the mature humans we r supposed to b but usually arent?

 **BetOnIt:** i shall attempt

 

_PM with SpottedInBrooklyn_

 

 **BetOnIt:** hey

 **BetOnIt:** we dont have to like go on a date

 **BetOnIt:** we can just b fwb like we agreed

 **BetOnIt:** its chill

 **BetOnIt:** pls answer me

 

_PM with WhereforeArtThouDICK_

 

 **BetOnIt:** i think hes ignoring me

 **BetOnIt:** i might cry

 **WhereforeArtThouDick:** ill b at urs in ten with ice cream and bad movies

 **BetOnIt:** ur the best bro

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** its what im here for bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4: more of Spot ignoring Race, Blush fluff, and the super secret sprace-vention is planned
> 
> (also follow me on social media if you want tumblr: lesbian-thespian-from-next-door and instagram: i_am_racetrack_higgins )


	4. procrastination station

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exams, bee movies, and relationships oh my!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this instead of studying

_ Seize the Gay _

 

**GoodBi:** what if i just...dont show up to any exams

**GoodBi:** then i dont fail or pass

**DavidJacobs:** I am pretty sure if you don’t take the exam you fail.

**GoodBi:** i dont need these exams

**GoodBi:** algebra is not needed to b an artist

**DavidJacobs:** It is necessary to get into an art college.

**GoodBi:** who needs college anyways

**DavidJacobs:** Well, it is ideal for everyone as the job market increasingly requires higher degrees in order to get simple jobs.

**GoodBi:** listen

**GoodBi:** i can just live in a cardboard box 

**GoodBi:** embrace the aspiring artist lifestyle

**RidinInStyle:** we can live in cardboard boxes together!! 

**GoodBi:** see davey! We artists and actors dont need degrees we got our cardboard boxes and dreams

**DavidJacobs:** First, I would never let you two live in cardboard boxes. Second, it can still be beneficial to go to an arts school in order to improve your skills.

**GoodBi:** i still will never use algebra after high school

**DavidJacobs:** Actually, you need two math credits in college.

**GoodBi:** fuck that

**BetOnIt:** i see your algebra and i raise you a calculus

**GoodBi:** listen mr math genius i dont need ur fancy symbols and imaginary numbers

**BetOnIt:** u will next year

**GoodBi:** fuck

**MushedPotatoes:** guys gals and nonbinary pals

**MushedPotatoes:** i hate cramps

**RidinInStyle:** do u need chocolate?? I can b over in 5 with both milk and dark!!

**MushedPotatoes:** crutchie you are an angel

**RidinInStyle:** i just keep a constant supply of chocolate for weeks like these :) 

 

_ PM with PatchedUp _

 

**MushedPotatoes:** i just realized you are quite possibly v confused

**MushedPotatoes:** im trans

**MushedPotatoes:** pls dont hate me

**PatchedUp:** of course i dont hate you!

**PatchedUp:** ur still a guy

**PatchedUp:** im still a gay

**PatchedUp:** nothing changed

**MushedPotatoes:** yay youre not an asshole!

**MushedPotatoes:** wanna come over and netflix and cuddle?

**PatchedUp:** b there in 20

**MushedPotatoes:** :D

 

_ Seize the Gay _

 

**GlassesAndAsses:** can we talk about how the bee movie is the greatest cinematic meme in the entire world

**GlassesAndAsses:** the female bees all have beehive hair

**GlassesAndAsses:** and the males all have buzzcuts

**GlassesAndAsses:** if there was an oscar for best meme the bee movie would win

**GayerJacobs:** why

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** how did i not notice the beehives and buzzcuts

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** cinematic gold right there 

**GoodBi:** can we all appreciate this bee movie fan art i did in middle school

**GoodBi:** [barrythebossbee.jpg]

**GoodBi:** i was ahead of my time

**WatchWhatHappens:** thats the most beautiful thing ive ever seen

**GayerJacobs:** why were you making bee movie fan art in middle school

**GoodBi:** middle school was a strange time

**PatchedUp:** i thought i was straight in middle school

**RidinInStyle:** i thought wicked was the best musical to ever exist

**BetOnIt:** SPOT HAD AN EMO PHASE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

**GoodBi:** i need photos of this

**BetOnIt:** suddenly…. i have to go

 

_ PM with WhereforeArtThouDICK _

 

**BetOnIt:** i just made myself sad

**BetOnIt:** it has been 2948472920948 hours since we last talked

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** just approach him in real life where he cant ignore you

**BetOnIt:** i did and he just walked away :’(

**BetOnIt:** what if i just show up at his house and just stand there until he talks to me

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** thats a bit stalkerish

**BetOnIt:** i have no other options

 

_ WhereforeArtThouDICK has added GoodBi, DavidJacobs, WatchWhatHappens, GayerJacobs, GlassesAndAsses, MushedPotatoes, PatchedUp, and RidinInStyle to Super Secret Sprace-vention _

 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** race is resorting to stalkerish tendencies this needs to end

**GoodBi:** what

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** spot is ignoring race and hes been complaining about it every second of the day im going insane

**GlassesAndAsses:** did he tell u y 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** yes

**GlassesAndAsses:** ..and?

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** its not something i should tell you spot might punch me if i do

**GlassesAndAsses:** how do we help if we dont know the problem

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ok well race and spot were fwb and then race caught Feelings and spot did not

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** but u didnt hear it from me

**WatchWhatHappens:** u know that actually explains a lot

**GoodBi:** what if we just ,, shove them in a room together alone

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i think ur doubting spots ignoring capabilities

**DavidJacobs:** Maybe we should just let them work it out on their own? 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** that could take weeks

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ive already been forced to watch all 3 hsms like 90  times

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** im gonna explode

**WatchWhatHappens:** we could just call them out in the gc? 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** that will only work if spot hasnt blocked race 

**WatchWhatHappnes:** well we wont know until we try 

 

_ WhereforeArtThouDICK has changed the groupchat name to ‘sprace get ur shit together’ _

 

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** wtf is this

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ur not leaving until u work shit out have fun

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** what

**BetOnIt:** what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soon to be in a chapter 4 near you: sprace works shit out, crutchie dabbles in weed for the first time


	5. dont do school, stay in drugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sprace works things out, Crutchie attempts the weeds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait I had 100000 tests this week!  
> fun fact the crutchie thing is a true story

_sprace get ur shit together_

 

 **BetOnIt:** so…

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** what

 **BetOnIt:** u know what

 **BetOnIt:** look either you dont like me back and we move on or u do and,,,then its up to u

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** i,,,

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** like u too

 **BetOnIt:** :D !!!

 **BetOnIt:** ur an asshole for ignoring me but

 **BetOnIt:** :D !!!

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** wanna come over?

 **BetOnIt:** b there in 20

 **GoodBi:** keep ur sexcapades in private chat jesus

 **GoodBi:** but also im glad ur not ignoring each other never do that again

 

_WhereforeArtThouDICK changed the group name to “Seize the Gay”_

 

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** glad thats settled

 **RidinInStyle:** i hve made a discovry!

 **RidinInStyle:** bongs and asthma dont go wel togeter!

 **MushedPotatoes:** this is tru

 **PatchedUp:** domt give that pal a bong theylll wheeze all over u

 **GoodBi:** are they ok??

 **DavidJacobs:** Did they have their inhaler?

 **RidinInStyle:** im fiiiiiiine

 **MushedPotatoes:** they didnt have ther inhalr but theyre fiiiiine

 **PatchedUp:** they didnf even get a hit in

 **PatchedUp:** i thnk theyre contct high

 **WatchWhatHappens:** well were u in a closed room

 **PatchedUp:** yes

 **WatchWhatHappens:** then most likely yes

 **RidinInStyle:** ur smart kathy!

 **WatchWhatHappens:** thanks crutchie

 **RidinInStyle:** ur wlcome!!!!

 **GoodBi:** mush and blink dont let them do anything dumb

 **MushedPotatoes:** welll try!

 **DavidJacobs:** Do I need to come make sure you three don’t die?

 **PatchedUp:** nahh were fine

 **PatchedUp:** done ths plentt of times

 

_PM with GoodBi_

 

 **RidinInStyle:** hav i ever told u ur cute???? Bcuz u r!!!!

 **GoodBi:** thanks crutch

 **GoodBi:** ur pretty cute too

 **RidinInStyle:**!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

 **RidinInStyle:** u realllllly think so?????

 **GoodBi:** of course

 **RidinInStyle:** !!!!!!!!!

 

_PM with DavidJacobs_

 

 **RidinInStyle:** hey davey!!

 **DavidJacobs:** Hi, Crutchie.

 **RidinInStyle:** y r u always so formal??? Use 2 exclamation points!! Make ur name something creative!! Be free!!

 **DavidJacobs:** I like being proper.

 **RidinInStyle:** live the best life!!! Let go of grammar!!!

 **RidinInStyle:** what if ur username was,,,, seizethesnake

 **DavidJacobs:** I don’t mind my current username.

 **RidinInStyle:** plsssss,,, for me????

 **RidinInStyle:** [ucantsaynototheseeyes.jpg]

 **DavidJacobs:** I guess.

 

_David Jacobs has changed his username to SeizeTheSnake_

 

 **RidinInStyle:** yay!!!!!!!!

 **RidinInStyle:** now u can be free of ur proper udername!!!!!

 **SeizeTheSnake:** Anything for you, Crutchie.

 **RidinInStyle:** :D !!!!!!

 

_PM with SeizeTheSnake_

 

 **GoodBi:** u changed ur name!

 **SeizeTheSnake:** Crutchie asked me to and I couldn’t refuse.

 **GoodBi:** ah crutchie messged u too

 **GoodBi:** theyre p cute high

 **GoodBi:** im v gay

 **SeizeTheSnake:** First, you’re bi. Second, I agree.

 **GoodBi:** i can b as gay as i want to

 **GoodBi:** and i am,,,,, v gay rn

 **GoodBi:** im so gay that i must go paint

 **GoodBi:** adiós

 **SeizeTheSnake:** Bye!

 

_Seize the Gay_

 

 **BetOnIt:** i cannot believe u got high without me

 **BetOnIt:** #rude and disrespectful

 **MushedPotatoes:** u were busy!!

 **BetOnIt:** theres always time for that marijuana 420 blaze it

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** y r u like this

 **BetOnIt:** i am a mere bi just trying to live life

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** i hate u

 **BetOnIt:** ;)

 

_30 minutes later_

 

 **RidinInStyle:** what if we got an Audrey 2? We could raise it on sunshine and rainbows so its hapy and doesnt want blood!!!

 **GoodBi:** i dont think it works like that

 **RidinInStyle:** nurture over nature!!!! Sunshine and rainbows over blood and murder!!!

 **GoodBi:** sure crutchie

 **GoodBi:** well get an audrey 2

 **RidinInStyle:** yay!!

 **RidinInStyle:** id name mine dack2

 **RidinInStyle:** no wait javid 2

 **RidinInStyle:** cuz davey and jack are my favorite people!!

 **GoodBi:** ur one of my favorite people 2!

 **SeizeTheSnake:** Thanks, Crutchie. You’re one of my favorite people as well.

 **RidinInStyle:**!!!!!!!!!!

 **GlassesAndAsses:** gay

 **SeizeTheSnake:** Yes, I am.

 **GoodBi:** i am a bi but also yes

 **RidinInStyle:** hey!! Im pretty gay too!!!

 **GoodBi:** lets b gay together ;)

 **RidinInStyle:** ok!!!!

 **RidinInStyle:** can we watch falsettos?? Its gay and sad like me!!

 **GoodBi:** lmao same

 **SeizetheSnake:** I love Falsettos!

 **RidinInStyle:** i have the hd bootleg! Im coming over to ur house!!

 **SeizeTheSnake:** No, you’re still high. I’ll pick Jack up and we can watch it at your house.

 **RidinInStyle:** ok!!! Ill make popcorn!!!

 **GoodBi:** idk what falsettos is but b there in 10!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #dontLetAsthmaticsHaveBongs #GiveThemAJointInstead  
> also I'm thinking about writing one shots about things in this fic?? like sprace getting together, mush meeting blink etc. comment if youd like that !


	6. #Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one is v gay and v meme

_ Seize the Gay _

 

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** BREAKING NEWS

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** ANTONIO RACETRACK HIGGINS LISTENS TO TAYLOR SWIFT

**BetOnIt:** I DO NOT

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** [raceinanapronbakingcookiesandblastingts.mov]

**BetOnIt:** i cannot believe u have betrayed me like this

**GoodBi:** hes been to all of her concerts

**BetOnIt:** i came out here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** this is the greatest thing ive ever heard

**GlassesAndAsses:** i was in a taylor music video once

**BetOnIt:** W H A T

**BetOnIt:** WHICH ONE  
 **BetOnIt:** DID YOU MEET HER  
 **BetOnIt:** ROMEO IM STEALING YOUR BOI 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** that boi is mine

**RidinInStyle:** -eliza schuyler 2017

**GlassesAndAsses:** ye i met her

**BetOnIt:** and?????

**GlassesAndAsses:** she was nice i guess

**BetOnIt:** im gonna cry this is the best information ive ever recieved in my life

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** i cant believe im dating a giant ass hipster

**BetOnIt:** bih

**BetOnIt:** i  _ saw  _ u boppin along to my bae taylor

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** i was not

**BetOnIt:** ,,sure,,

**GoodBi:** gays,,,,im ill and dying

**RidinInStyle:** oh no! 

**SeizeTheSnake:** I’ll be at your house in 30 minutes with medication and movies

**RidinInStyle:** ill bring blankets!!

**GoodBi:** ur the best pals

**GayerJacobs:** honestly,,,just date already

**SeizeTheSnake:** Sarah!

**GayerJacobs:** what? Its true

**WatchWhatHappens:** i agree

**GoodBi:** gotta blast

**RidinInStyle:** ???

 

_ GoodBi has added RidinInStyle and SeizeTheSnake to “pls dont hate me after this i might cry” _

 

**GoodBi:** i,,, have a proposal

**RidinInStyle:** ??

**SeizeTheSnake:** Which is?

**GoodBi:** would you both like to go out with me??

**RidinInStyle:** like a triad?

**GoodBi:** yes

**RidinInStyle:** !! yes !!

**SeizeTheSnake:** Yes!

**GoodBi:** ohmyygod im so relieved

**SeizeTheSnake:** Also, we’re here.

**RidinInStyle:** !! now we can cuddle !!

**GoodBi:** im always down for some cuddles

 

_ Seize the Gay _

 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** some stars burn and die, bigger stars burn out and die with PASSION

**GlassesAndAsses:** nope, can't walk yet. and there's no food yet so i don't care.

**BetOnIt:** you could create a religion out of this!

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** no, dont.

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** coming to a dank river valley near you

**GlassesAndAsses:** the sun is a deadly lazer!

**BetOnIt:** fuck the church, here's 95 reasons why

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? ok thanks, bye

**MushedPotatoes:** ?? what is this from

**GlassesAndAsses:** only the greatest meme of our time, bill wurtz

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** also known as the history of japan guy

**MushedPotatoes:** he uploaded another one??

**BetOnIt:** its called history of the entire world i guess and its the greatest thing ull ever watch

**PatchedUp:** *soft whisper* they never got ethiopia

**BetOnIt:** bill wurtz could punch me in the face and i would thank him

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** honestlyyyyyyy same

**SpottedInBrooklyn** : kinky

**BetOnIt:** u kno it babe ;) ;) ;)

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** disgusting

**BetOnIt:** i kno all ur secrets

**BetOnIt:** u cant hide from me

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** this,,,, is true

**GlassesAndAsses:** ;)

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ;)

 

_ 1:06 AM _

_ PM with WatchWhatHappens _

 

**GayerJacobs:** hey i know youre asleep but i wanted to give you something nice to wake up to :D! so hi kath of the morning! even though youve got morning breath youre still cute! youre the most adorable person i know!! and youre smart! you write articles for newspaper that are flawless! i love you!!

 

_ 9:24 AM _

 

**WatchWhatHappens:** sarah!!!!!! this is the nicest thing anyones done for me!!!!!!

**WatchWhatHappens:** im crying!!!!

**GayerJacobs:** dont cry!

**WatchWhatHappens:** theyre happy tears!!!

**GayerJacobs:** yay! Im glad you liked it! I know its not as good as your articles but i tried!

**WatchWhatHappens:** sarah!! Its so good!! 

**WatchWhatHappens:** r u free today?

**GayerJacobs:** yes!

**WatchWhatHappens:** were going on a date ive decided

**WatchWhathappens:** b ready in an hour!

**GayerJacobs:** Ah!

**GayerJacobs:** see u then!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im probably gonna write oneshots for jackcrutchiedavey getting together outside of text and maybe newsbians date?? those will take longer tho because they are more than just conversation like this fic is lmao


	7. Let Davey Say Fuck 2k17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk just beware theres suicidal ideation in here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first time i uploaded this it glitched idk why

_ Seize the Gay _

 

**RidinInStyle:** racETRACK HIGGINS

**BetOnIt:** uh oh

**GoodBi:** wtf did u do

**RidinInStyle:** HAVE U BEEN A THEATRE NERD THIS WHOLE TIME AND NEVER TOLD ME

**BetOnIt:** shit

**BetOnIt:** i can explain

**RidinInStyle:** u better!.

**BetOnIt:** u see

**BetOnIt:** i wouldve told u

**BetOnIt:** but like

**BetOnIt:** im terrible 

**BetOnIt:** so i did not

**RidinInStyle:** but ur good!! and uve got like 1 mil subscribers!!

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** what the fuck why have i not been informed of this

**BetOnIt:** its not a big deal

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i thought u couldnt sing

**RidinInStyle:** [link to  _ See I’m Smiling- Making Musicals Gay Again #5 _ ]

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** fuck what the fuck how what 

**GoodBi:** lmao i think u just murdered spot

**BetOnIt:** its not that good

**BetOnIt:** im just doin the humble job of makin musicals gayer

**MushedPotatoes:** u r doing a heckin good job at that

**BetOnIt:** sounds fake but ok

**PatchedUp:** spot just watched dead boy walking and i think you actually killed him

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** race,,,y would u hid this from me,,,,ur loving boyfriend,,,

**BetOnIt:** bcuz its terrible idk why people like it

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** bro,,, its p good

**GlassesAndAsses:** 10/10

**BetOnIt:** ook 

**RidinInStyle:** u r auditioning for the next musical with me ive decided

**BetOnIt:** f i n e

**RidinInStyle:** yay!!!!!

**BetOnIt:** i cant dance tho

**GlassesAndAsses:** take classes with me

**BetOnIt:** u dance?

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** YOU BET UR GAY ASS HE DOES {fire emojis thirsty emojis}  


**BetOnIt:** um this is bi erasure 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** YOU BET UR BI ASS HE DOES {fire emojis thirsty emojis}  


**BetOnIt:** thnx 

**BetOnIt:** also there is a possibility i will take that offer at some point in the future possibly

**GlassesAndAsses:** ill b waiting for u ;)

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** um boi u better not b cheating on me with my one tru bro

**GlassesAndAsses:** i could never

**GlassesAndAsses:** ur my only ho

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** {kiss emoji fire emoji}

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ur my one tru ho

**GlassesAndAsses:** {kiss emoji}

 

_ 10:14 PM _

_ Three Musgayteers _

 

**RidinInStyle:** i hate to intrude but could i possibly stay at someones house tonight?

**GoodBi:** the doors are always open at the kelly larkin household

**RidinInStyle:** ok ill be there soon

**SeizeTheSnake:** Crutchie, are you okay?

**RidinInStyle:** yes

**RidinInStyle:** no

**RidinInStyle:** idk

**RidinInStyle:** my mom was yellin about how she wants to kill herself again and i just cant be near that right now

**SeizeTheSnake:** Oh, Crutchie, I’m sorry.

**RidinInStyle:** its not the first time and it wont be the last 

**GoodBi:** thats shitty

**SeizeTheSnake:** That fucking sucks, Crutch.

**RidinInStyle:** its been like this since i was born its fine

**GoodBi:** that doesnt mean its ok

**GoodBi:** ive got ice cream awaiting ur arrival

**SeizeTheSnake:** I’m coming over with blankets and cuddles.

**RidinInStyle:** you guys are the best boyfriends ever!

**GoodBi:** the Crutchie Exclamation Points ™ have returned

 

_ 3:22 AM _

_ Seize the Gay _

 

**SeizeTheSnake:** FUCK ME SHERLOCK SEASON 4 IS ON NETFLIX

**SeizeTheSnake:** IVE BEEN WAITING 84 YEARS FOR THIS

**GayerJacobs:** there goes davey breakin out the all caps

**WatchWhatHappens:** youre late to the party im already on episode 2

**SeizeTheSnake:** If you even hint at a spoiler I’m going to have to fight you. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

**BetOnIt:** this is gold get davey excited more often

**WatchWhatHappens:** i woul dnever spoil anything im not a heathen

**PatchedUp:** (all my friends are heathen take it slow)

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** why r u like this

**MushedPotatoes:** i ask myself that question everyday

**PatchedUp:** rude

**MushedPotatoes:** i have never done anything wrong in my life i am pure and innocent

**PatchedUp:** suuuuure

**PatchedUp:** {side eye emoji}  


**MushedPotatoes:** i cannot believe

**MushedPotatoes:** i have been,,,,betrayed by my own bf

**PatchedUp:** {side eye emoji}  


**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** we alll know the innocence is a sham

**MushedPotatoes:** you have no proof

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** this,,,

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** is tru

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** BUT

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** we r sure to catch u in the act soon

**MushedPotatoes:** good luck with that!

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** mission catch the angel bein a devil has begun

**MushedPotatoes:** ok! Have fun!


	8. roast jack kelly day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay and artsy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this instead of doing homework

_ Seize the Gay _

_ 11:19 PM _

_ BetOnIt has changed the group name to “gnomeo and julian” _

 

**WatchWhatHappens:** why

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** dont bash gnomeo and juliet 

**GoodBi:** tf is gnomeo and juliet

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** only the best gnome movie of our time

**GayerJacobs:** and the only one

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** which makes it the best

**WatchWhatHappens:** sure

**SeizeTheSnake:** Technically he’s not wrong.

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** HA

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** I WIN

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** I GOT THE ONE AND ONLY DAVEY JACOBS ON MY SIDE

**BetOnIt:** ur the worst

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** luv u too racey  <3

**BetOnIt:** disgusting

**PatchedUp:** why are yall like this

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** aww u kno u love us 

**PatchedUp:** thats debatable

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** D:

**GlassesAndAsses:** i love u and ur weord gnome fetish

**RidinInStyle:** what the fuck have i walked in on

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** its not a fetish!! Its just an underappreciated movie!!

**GlassesAndAsses:** ook

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** davey is the only one i can trust

**SeizeTheSnake:** I never agreed with you, I just said your logic was not wrong.

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i can trust no one but myself

**BetOnIt:** u can always trust gnomeo

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** {middle finger emoji}

**BetOnIt:** ;)

 

_ GoodBi has changed the group name to “Seize the Gay” _

 

**WatchWhatHappens:** peace has been restored

 

_ 8:45 AM _

 

**GoodBi:** G U Y S   G A L S    A N D     N O N B I N A R Y   P A L 

**GoodBi:** I GOT INTO THE SUMMER ART THING IN SANTA FE

**GoodBi:** IM CRYING

**SeizeTheSnake:** I’m so happy for you, Jack!

**RidinInStyle:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**BetOnIt:** why the fuck r u up this early

**GoodBi:** im working on a project annd havent slept in 3 days but !! worth it !!

**RidinInStyle:** thats unhealthy jack!

**GoodBi:** im fine!! even better now that i got the letter!!

**SeizeTheSnake:** The letter is great, but you should be getting at least 8 hours of sleep!

**GoodBi:** even when i do sleep its not 8 hours who has time for that

**RidinInStyle:** ive slept for over 12 hours before…

**GoodBi:** how tf

**RidinInStyle:** im a smol bean who needs lotsa sleep

**GoodBi:** thats,, adorable

**RidinInStyle:** :)

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** shut the fuck up some people are trying to fucking sleep 

**GoodBi:** well good morning to u too spot

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** die

**GoodBi:** thats the goal

 

_ 10:23 AM _

 

**WatchWhatHappens:** ah jack!!! Thats amazing!!

**GayerJacobs:** thats so cool!!

**MushedPotatoes:** !!!!!

**PatchedUp:** !!!!!

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** nice!

**GlassesAndAsses:** 10/10 good job

**GoodBi:** thanks guys!!

**GoodBi:** glad you people appreciate me unlike a certain someone 

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** if you think i appreciate anyone before 10 am you would be wrong

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** but good job jackass

**GoodBi:** :’) a compliment from the one and only spot conlon, badass extraodinare

**SeizeTheSnake:** Extraordinaire*

**GoodBi:** listen im doing art for a reason

**GoodBi:** if u have problems with my spelling take it up with my learning disability 

**BetOnIt:** me

**WatchWhatHappens:** u know autocorrect exists right

**GoodBi:** sometimes u just misspell things so badly it cant help what can i say

**WatchWhatHappens:** wow

**GoodBi:** honestly i believe its an accomplishment to confuse autocorrect so many times

**WatchWhatHappens:** sure

**GoodBi:** what is this  fight jack day D:

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** thats everyday

**GoodBi:** :(

**RidinInStyle:** i would never fight you!!

**GoodBi:** :)

**SeizeTheSnake:** Why am I dating actual children?

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ROASTED   
****

**GoodBi:** rude and disrespectful 

**RidinInStyle:** me and my child boyfriend r gonna leave u for not kosher foods sorry not sorry

**SeizeTheSnake:** I cannot believe I’m being left for non-kosher food.

**GoodBi:** is paint kosher?

**GoodBi:** i may or may not have just drank paint water,,

**SeizeTheSnake:** This is why you need to separate you drinking water and your paint water.

**GoodBi:** i do not have time for ur logic

**GoodBi:** i only have time for painting and cute date mates

**SeizeTheSnake:** Well, your cute date mate says you need to separate your drinking water from your paint water before you die of paint poisoning. 

**GoodBi:** :/ sounds lame but ok

**RidinInStyle:** dont die of paint poisoning!!

**GoodBi:** i shall attempt

**MushedPotatoes:** adorable!!!

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** disgusting

**PatchedUp:** there are two kinds of people

**BetOnIt:** GAYY

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** GAYY

**PatchedUp:** *three kinds of people


	9. Group Therapy Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka the author projects onto fictional characters  
> -  
> TW for mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, and eating disorders stay safe!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen ik last chapter was not as good blame it on the cold medication i was on i promise this one is better

_ Seize the Gay _

 

**BetOnIt:** hey ok weird question

**BetOnIt:** does anyone else ever just like

**BetOnIt:** feel  just like,, not right??

**BetOnIt:** even tho ur like fine??

**SeizeTheSnake:** Yes, that’s actually a symptom of many mental illnesses.

**BetOnIt:** oh

**BetOnIt:** ok

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** r u ok dude

**BetOnIt:** im fine

 

_ PM with SpottedInBrooklyn _

 

**BetOnIt:** r u busy

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** no

**BetOnIt:** can u come over and cuddle me

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** always

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** b there in 20

**BetOnIt:** thnx

 

_ Seize The Gay _

 

**GoodBi:** speakin of mental illness

**GoodBi:** (its officially Group Therapy Time ™ )

**GoodBi:** i wish my depression were a person so i could punch them in the face multiple times

**SeizeTheSnake:** I feel the same about my anxiety, except I’d probably have too much anxiety to punch it in the face.

**GoodBi:** ill punch ur anxiety in the face for you <3

**SeizeTheSnake:** Thanks  <3.

**RidinInStyle:** idk if this really counts as a problem but sometimes i skip meals

**SeizeTheSnake:** Crutchie! That’s not healthy!

**RidinInStyle:** its not all the time i promise!

**GoodBi:** you know u can talk to us whenever you need to right  

**RidinInStyle:** of course!

**RidinInStyle:** im talkin right now arent i

**GoodBi:** ook

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** speaking of unhealthy eating

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** im bulimic

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** that explains some things

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** well thats enough sharing for me gotta blast

**BetOnIt:** me

**WatchWhatHappens:** i too have depression

**WatchWhatHappens:** i also would love to physically fight it

**GayerJacobs:** i too would love to fight your depression

**GayerJacobs:** i would also love to fight my socially anxious ass

**WatchWhatHappens:** i too would love to fight ur social anxiety

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** relationship goals right there

**GoodBi:** wheres ur boo

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** he is probs asleep

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** as it is 7 am over in oregon

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** unlike the reasonable 10 am here

**PatchedUp:** how did i not know he lives in oregon

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** idk but it explains his frequent absence from the chat

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** it also makes me want to fight time zones 

**MushedPotatoes:** so much fighting today

**MushedPotatoes:** what about like

**MushedPotatoes:** a civil discussion

**GoodBi:** nah

**SeizeTheSnake:** No thanks.

**RidinInStyle:** eh

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** i have never once had a civil discussion in my entire life

**BetOnIt:** same

**WatchWhatHappens:** civil discussions are for people who lack passion

**GayerJacobs:** never

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i cant even have a civil conversation with myself

**MushedPotatoes:** jesus crust

**PatchedUp:** jesus crust you say

**GoodBi:** id rather have a grilled cheesus

**WatchWhatHappens:** speaking of grilled cheesus

**WatchWhatHappens:** im hungry

**WatchWhatHappens:** meet me at jacobis

**WatchWhatHappens:** b there or b square

 

_ 1:45 PM _

 

**GlassesAndAsses:** im going to fight time zones tf

**GlassesAndAsses:** i cannot believe i missed group therapy time

**GoodBi:** um thats Group Therapy Time ™ to u

**GlassesAndAsses:** my apologies

**GlassesAndAsses:** i cannot believe i missed Group Therapy Time ™

**GoodBi:** much better

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** u should just like adjust ur sleeping schedule to eastern standard time

**GlassesAndAsses:** that would mean getting up at 3 when theres school lmao no thanks

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** well there goes all my solutions 

**GlassesAndAsses:** guess we will just forever be separated by cruel things known as time zones  </3

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** rip those like 6 hours where one of us is sleeping and the other is awake  </3

**GoodBi:** im glad both of my date mates live in ny

**GoodBi:** i might cry if they didnt

**SeizeTheSnake:** I’m glad as well.

**RidinInStyle:** same!!

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** we were havin a moment

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** and u just gotta,, steal it away like that

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** how rude

**BetOnIt:** nice full house reference

**GayerJacobs:** that was a good show

**WatchWhatHappens:** too bad fuller house happens

**BetOnIt:** here in the full house fandom we ignore that fuller house happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> specs lives in oregon just like a friend of mine !  
> also i finally got around to replying to comments so like keep em coming and now ill actually reply !!


	10. Haha! Very!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pick up lines and cryptids

_ Seize the Gay _

_ 12:55 PM _

 

**GlassesAndAsses:** can we talk about how deaf west spring awakening 

**GlassesAndAsses:** not even how just

**GlassesAndAsses:** deaf west spring awakening in general

**RidinInStyle:** yes!!

**BetOnIt:** i would die for moritz 

**GlassesAndAsses:** who wouldnt tbh

**GoodBi:** i want to fight melchior 

**GlassesAndAsses:** who wouldnt tbh

**GoodBi:** good point

**BetOnIt:** #reviveDWSA2k17

**GoodBi:** rt

**GlassesAndAsses:** rt

**RidinInStyle:** rt!

**GlassesAndAsses:** also just more deaf west shows on broadway in general would be nice

**GoodBi:** rt

**RidinInStyle:** rt!

**BetOnIt:** rt

**GlassesAndAsses:** glad we all agree

 

_ Seize the Gay _

_ 7:30 PM _

 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** are u a magician? because when i look at you everyone else disappears ;)

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** fuck wrong chat

**SeizeTheSnake:** Haha!

**GoodBi:** is the one and only davey jacobs into corny pick up lines??

**SeizeTheSnake:** Very!

**GoodBi:** why have i not discovered this information before

**GoodBi:** @ romeo thnx

 

_ GayGaychieGayvey _

_ 7:31 PM _

 

**GoodBi:** Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

**SeizeTheSnake:** Haha.

**GoodBi:** Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

**GoodBi:** If you were a vegetable you'd be a cute-cumber.  
**GoodBi:** I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.

**SeizeTheSnake:** That one’s a little disgusting.

**GoodBi:** here i am,, just a young bi,, and u,, attac me

**SeizeTheSnake:** Will a cheesy pick-up line make you happy?

**GoodBi:** sí

**SeizeTheSnake:** Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.    
**GoodBi:** even ur pick-up lines are nerdy

**GoodBi:** thats adorable

**RidinInStyle:** Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.   
**GoodBi:** Want an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss but down under

**SeizeTheSnake:** Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you?

**GoodBi:** I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?

**SeizeTheSnake:** You’re dyslexic, that’s why.

**GoodBi:** i came out here to say a good pick up line and im honestly feeling so attacked rn 

**GoodBi:** ur so mean 

**SeizeTheSnake:** Very!

**SeizeTheSnake:** Also, it’s you’re.

**SeizeTheSnake:** Or, it’s at least ‘ure’.

**GoodBi:** no that doesnt look right i Refuse

 

_ Seize the Gay _

 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** flashback to specs messaging me for the first time with “I was blinded by your beauty... I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.”

**GlassesAndAsses:** its a fave because im like legally blind

**GayerJacobs:** how do you see

**GlassesAndAsses:** i dont 

**GlassesAndAsses:** also,,  _ Glasses _ AndAsses

**GayerJacobs:** ,,listen

**WatchWhatHappens:** sarah is,, special sometimes

**GayerJacobs:** rude and disrespectful

**WatchWhatHappens:** love u

**GayerJacobs:** :/

**GayerJacobs:** love u2

**BetOnIt:** ah yes i also love that band 

**BetOnIt:** atleast i think its a band

**BetOnIt:** i dont actually know i just Do It For the Meme

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** relatable

**MushedPotatoes:** im late to the pick up line party but blink once wrote “i like you a latte” on my latte cup

**WatchWhatHappens:** Iconic

**PatchedUp:** puns are my aesthetic

**MushedPotatoes:** youre basically a walking pun

**PatchedUp:** this is true

**PatchedUp:** ur username is a pun

**MushedPotatoes:** this is true

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** gay

**PatchedUp:** ur not wrong there

**GoodBi:** why is spot basically a cryptid

**BetOnIt:** what

**GoodBi:** like where is he always

**GoodBi:** who is he

**BetOnIt:** jack

**BetOnIt:** you literally see him atleast once a week

**GoodBi:** yeah and i also see pictures of bigfoot everywhere 

**WatchWhatHappens:** i think you need to look up the definition of cryptid

**GoodBi:** idk the existence of spot is pretty questionable :/

**BetOnIt:** how does your brain get to these conclusions

**WatchWhatHappens:** i dated him for a solid 2 months and couldnt figure that out

**GoodBi:** maybe im the cryptid

**GoodBi:** ive been the cryptid this whole time

**RidinInStyle:** see this is why you need sleep

**GoodBi:** sleep is for the weak

**GoodBi:** im going to get another coffee and hope i dont die

**WatchWhatHappens:** jack with no sleep never ceases to amaze me

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** rt

**BetOnIt:** oh hey the cryptid is here

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** fight me

**BetOnIt:** i will if u dont check ur goddamn pms

 

_ PM with SpottedInBrooklyn  _

 

**BetOnIt:** Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got some nice buns

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** _ w h y _

**BetOnIt:** <3<3<3

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** :|

**BetOnIt:** :(

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** …  <3

**BetOnIt:** ! :D !  <3<3<3<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha!


	11. <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so much fluff!! aaaah!!

_ PM with BetOnIt _

_ 3:56 AM _

 

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** hey so i know i dont say this enough but like i really appreciate you. Youre my closest friend and im just so glad i also get to date you like ?? how did that even happen youre so amazing 

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** im gonna send you nice quotes to wake up to get ready babe

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** You're like a song that I heard when I was a little kid but forgot I knew until I heard it again

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** You know why I want you? I didn’t know I was lost until you found me. I didn’t know what alone was until the first night I spent without you in my bed. You’re the one thing I’ve got right. You’re what I’ve been waiting for, Antonio.

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** Do I love you because you're beautiful or are you beautiful because I love you?

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** Am I making believe I see in you a boy too lovely to be really true?

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** Do I want you because you're wonderful or are you wonderful because I want you?

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream?

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** Or are you really as beautiful as you seem?

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** ok im done now

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** i just needed to make sure you knew how much you mean to me

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** i love you race,  hope youre sleeping well <3

 

_ 10:09 AM _

 

**BetOnIt:** whats crakalakin homeskillet you a cutie

**BetOnIt:** dsakygrfhdw

**BetOnIt:** im so sorry

**BetOnIt:** romeo stole my phone when he saw me crying immediately after waking up

**BetOnIt:** i love you so much omg

**BetOnIt:** i dont even know what to say tbh im speechless

**BetOnIt:** youre the best thing to ever happen to me

**BetOnIt:** i love you sean  <3

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** <3

 

_ Seize the Gay _

 

**BetOnIt:** psa i love spot

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** psa i love race

**BetOnIt:** <3

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** <3

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** race literally started crying at 10 am bc of spot

**SeizeTheSnake:** That’s adorable.

**PatchedUp:** god i wish i had a nice loving relationship :/

**MushedPotatoes:** you didnt own those cookies sir

**PatchedUp:** it was implied the last one was mine 

**MushedPotatoes:** ill make you more 

**PatchedUp:** aw i have a nice loving relationship too :’)

**BetOnIt:** rt if you have a nice loving relationship

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** rt

**PatchedUp:** rt

**MushedPotatoes:** rt

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** rt

**GlassesAndAsses:** rt 

**WatchWhatHappens:** rt

**GayerJacobs:** rt

**GoodBi:** rt

**RidinInStyle:** rt

**SeizeTheSnake:** Retweet.

**GoodBi:** goddamnit davey

**GayerJacobs:** daaamn davey back at it again with the proper grammar

**SeizeTheSnake:** I just find it easier to read than the slang you all use.

**GlassesAndAsses:** daveys a dinosaur

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** Davey the Dinosaur

**SeizeTheSnake:** Sure.

**RidinInStyle:** dont let them bully you youre perfect the way you are <3

**SeizeTheSnake:** <3.

**GoodBi:** :’)

**GoodBi:** <3<3

**SeizeTheSnake:** <3.

**RidinInStyle:** <3!

**WatchWhatHappens:** is this cute couple day

**WatchWhatHappens:** sarah were going out for dinner

**GayerJacobs:** ok!

**MushedPotatoes:** blink wrote me a poem on my coffee cup today

**PatchedUp:** mush was cute like always

**MushedPotatoes:** <3

**PatchedUp:** <3

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ...specs and i we,, we sure are

**GlassesAndAsses:** we sure are

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** <3

**GlassesAndAsses:** <3

**GoodBi:** GUYS GALS AND NONBINARY PALS

**GoodBi:** WE SHOULD HAVE A GROUP DATE

**BetOnIt:** that is a terrible idea

**BetOnIt:** lets do it

**GlassesAndAsses:** well ill just be over here in oregon dying of loneliness

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** im gonna fly u over here for the group date

**GlassesAndAsses:** good

**MushedPotatoes:** can we actually tho?? i feel like that would be fun

**PatchedUp:** if by fun you mean chaotic then yes

**GoodBi:** ok im planning this ill get back to u when its done

**WatchWhatHappens:** this is going to end terribly but ok

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** im Ready for Disaster

**BetOnIt:** Disaster ™ coming to a group date near you 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** _soon_

**BetOnIt:** _ s o o n _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quote credits in order   
> Jalaluddin Rumi  
> Maggie Stiefvater, Shiver   
> Jamie McGuire, Beautiful Disaster   
> Richard Rodgers, Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella   
> And a good thanks to jamie for the home skillet one


	12. two new frens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Albert and Elmer join the gang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres links to polls in this pls vote in them

_ Seize the Gay _

 

**GoodBi:** r u guys cool with me adding this guy i met on tumblr and his bf

**GoodBi:** theyre gay and australian

**BetOnIt:** u had me at gay

 

_ GoodBi has added MuckityMucks to Seize the Gay _

_ GoodBi has added ElmersGlue to Seize the Gay _

 

**WatchWhatHappens:** welcome to Hell ™ 

**MuckityMucks:** THE TRASHCAN IS ON FIRE

**ElmersGlue:** why r u like this

**GoodBi:** what

**MuckityMucks:** _CAN U NOT READ THE TRASH CAN IS FUCKING ON FIRE_

**SeizeTheSnake:** How did you manage to set a trash can on fire?

**MuckityMucks:** idk but its out now

**MuckityMucks:** also im albro hello

**SeizeTheSnake:** albro?

**ElmersGlue:** albert 

**ElmersGlue:** and im elmer 

**RidinInStyle:** hi! im crutchie!

**SeizeTheSnake:** I’m Davey, nice to meet you!

**BetOnIt:** im race and SpottedInBrooklyn is my asshole bf spot whos never on

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** fuck u

**BetOnIt:** <3

**MushedPotatoes:** im  mush!!

**PatchedUp:** im mushs bf blink

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** im romeo

**GlassesAndAsses:** im specs and im dating romeo

**WatchWhatHappens:** im kath(erine)

**GayerJacobs:** im sarah 

**WatchWhatHappens:** we are gay and dating

**GoodBi:** and u know me

**BetOnIt:** we should fly them to ny for our group date

**MushedPotatoes:** yes!

**ElmersGlue:** i have no money

**WatchWhatHappens:** i have plenty dw

**MuckityMucks:** what is this group date u speak of

**GoodBi:** im planning a group date and ur gonna join us

**MuckityMucks:** ok bro whatever u say

**GoodBi:** also send suggestions

**BetOnIt:** mariokart 

**GoodBi:** send suggestions that wont end in murder

**MushedPotatoes:** we could do a scavenger hunt around the city

**RidinInStyle:** we could have a cooking competition!

**MuckityMucks:** _no_

**MuckityMucks:** _elmer is not allowed_

**ElmersGlue:** it only ended in fire once 

**MuckityMucks:** you lit water on fire

**MuckityMucks:** i didnt think that was possible

**GoodBi:** a no to cooking then

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** pizza

**GlassesAndAsses:** ice cream

**BetOnIt:** what if we had a model rocket competition

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** we all know ud win

**BetOnIt:** and?

**GayerJacobs:** what if we picked out thrift store outfits for each other

**MuckityMucks:** we cld go 2 maccas

**GoodBi:** ...what

**MuckityMucks:** maccas

**ElmersGlue:** do u not know what maccas is

**ElmersGlue:** thats like The American Fast Food Place

**GoodBi:** ???

**BetOnIt:** wtf is maccas

**SeizeTheSnake:** Do you mean McDonald’s?

**MuckityMucks:** no fuck u its maccas

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** australians r weird 

**SeizeTheSnake:** We could go to a museum.

**GoodBi:** i love u but ur a nerd and we would b kicked out v quickly

**GlassesAndAsses:** we could go stargazing

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** we cld go camping too

**WatchWhatHappens:** we could spend a day doing things in the city then go camping somewhere?

**GoodBi:** ur a smart cookie

**SeizeTheSnake:** Okay, the closest camping sites are Minnewaska State Park Preserve, North-South Lake Campground, Fahnestock State Park, and Harriman State Park. They all range from about one hour to two and a half hours away. 

**SeizeTheSnake:** Here’s a poll so everyone has a fair say  [ http://www.strawpoll.me/13318163 ](http://www.strawpoll.me/13318163)

**GoodBi:** davey ur amazing and i love u

**SeizeTheSnake:** I love you, too.

**MuckityMucks:** i have a poll 2

**MuckityMucks:** [ http://www.strawpoll.me/13318216](http://www.strawpoll.me/13318216)

**ElmersGlue:** why am i elmo

**MuckityMucks:** y not

**GoodBi:** u should change ur name to ElmosWorld

**MuckityMucks:** bloody oath

**ElmersGlue:** no

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** what the fuck

**PatchedUp:** whats a bloody oath

**MuckityMucks:** its a bloody oath

**ElmersGlue:** it means he agrees

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** why say bloody oath when u can just agree

**GoodBi:** hes aggressively australian

**MuckityMucks:** ur not wrong

**SeizeTheSnake:** That doesn’t even make sense.

**MuckityMucks:** sure it does

**MuckityMucks:** oath like im agreeing

**SeizeTheSnake:** An oath is a promise.

**MuckityMucks:** yeah im promisin i agree

**SeizeTheSnake:** Sure.

**GoodBi:** aussies never make sense but we lov them anyways

**MuckityMucks:** ilu2 bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thnx to sam for the elmer cant cook headcanon and thnx to jules for inspiring albro  
> (also pls vote in the polls if u havent already!!)


	13. more boys!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> henry, jojo, and buttons join the chat and possible new relationships arise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iconic notes from aussies (phi and jess) helping me with slang:  
> -"what if i just edit ur whole fic. ok nk i wont"  
> -"goon make him say he drank a bag of goon im helping u"  
> -"MAKE HIM EAT A WOOLIES CAKE. in one sittinf" " as if thats hard ? fkae australian"  
> "die i sont like tjem" "theyre a staple food but Ok……"

_ Seize the Gay _

_ 12:10 PM EST, 9:10 AM PST, 2:10 AM UTC+10 _

 

**SeizeTheSnake:** Okay it’s been decided that we are going to North-South Lake Campground!

**MuckityMucks:** according to my survey race is the best but bc all his votes r from spot i disagree 

**BetOnIt:** r00d

**ElmersGlue:** Can i add these 3 guys named henry jojo and buttons? theyre cool i promise

**GoodBi:** i dont see y not

 

_ ElmersGlue has added HenryAndCheese to Seize The Gay _

 

_ ElmersGlue has added JumpingJojo to Seize The Gay _

 

_ ElmersGlue has added ButterMeUp to Seize The Gay _

 

**ButterMeUp:** het

**BetOnIt:** no hets here

**ButterMeUp:** that was supposed 2 b hey but i agree

**HenryAndCheese:** hi

**JumpingJojo:** hello!!

**WatchWhatHappens:** why is your name butter me up

**ButterMeUp:** y not

**WatchWhatHappens:** i hate everyone in this chat

**GoodBi:** u love us

**WatchWhatHappens:** :/ sure

**SeizeTheSnake:** Hello! I’m David or Davey.

**GoodBi:** im jack

**RidinInStyle:** im crutchie and theyre both my boyfriends!! also they/them please

**MushedPotatoes:** im mush! he/him!

**PatchedUp:** im blink mushs bf

**GayerJacobs:** im sarah! daveys sister and kaths gf

**WatchWhatHappens:** im the kath she speaks of

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** im spot he/him

**BetOnIt:** im race spots bf

**GlassesAndAsses:** im specs he/him and also romeos bf

**WhereForeArtThouDICK:** im romeo specss boyfriend

**MuckityMucks:** im albo 

**JumpingJojo:** elmers told us about you!

**MuckityMucks:** aw bro

**ButterMeUp:** im buttons

**HenryAndCheese:** im henry just in case you couldnt tell

**JumpingJojo:** im jojo! 

**GlassesAndAsses:** ok not that im username shaming but where did buttermeup come from

**ButterMeUp:** well u see

**ButterMeUp:** one day 

**ButterMeUp:** i was trying to b cool n nerdy by saying ‘beam me up henry’ when i got to henrys apartment

**ButterMeUp:** however

**ButterMeUp:** i somehow managed to type butter me up henry instead

**ButterMeUp:** and here i am

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** thats one of the most iconic username stories ive ever heard

**ButterMeUp:** thnx i try

**GoodBi:** r u aussies too

**HenryAndCheese:** no we live in ny

**ElmersGlue:** Unfortunately only albert and i live in australia

**MuckityMucks:** i just ate a whole woolies cake

**GoodBi:** why r u so Aggressively Australian

**MuckityMucks:** fuck u woolies cakes r good

**BetOnIt:** if theyre so good whyd u only eat one

**BetOnIt:** Weak Australian

**MuckityMucks:** u try to eat more than one in a sitting bro

**BetOnIt:** mail me one

**MuckityMucks:** no

**BetOnIt:** y do u h8 me

**MuckityMucks:** u need to level up our bromance in order to get mail from me 

**BetOnIt:** wow

**BetOnIt:** i thought we were already on that level

**MuckityMucks:** well u overestimated our bromance then

**GoodBi:** i feel like im watching a private moment

**BetOnIt:** stfu jack

**GoodBi:** wow rude

 

_ PM with GoodBi _

_ 1:12 PM EST, 3:12 AM UTC +10 _

 

**MuckityMucks:** bro

**GoodBi:** bro

**MuckityMucks:** hypothetically

**MuckityMucks:** how wld 1 bring up polyamory to their bf

**GoodBi:** omg

**GoodBi:** well

**GoodBi:** first you could bring up the term and see how elmer takes it

**MuckityMucks:** who said anything abt elmer

**MuckityMucks:** this is a fully hypothetical situation

**GoodBi:** sure it is

**MuckityMucks:** but also thnx bro

 

_ PM with GoodBi _

_ 1:15 PM EST _

 

**BetOnIt:** hey jacky

**GoodBi:** hey buddy

**GoodBi:** how about you

**GoodBi:** dont

**BetOnIt:** o is that a davey nickname only srry

**GoodBi:** shut

**BetOnIt:** never

**GoodBi:** is there somethin u wanted to tell me

**BetOnIt:** o right

**BetOnIt:** hypothetically

**BetOnIt:** how would one bring polyamory up to his bf

**GoodBi:** o my god

**GoodBi:** ok so

**GoodBi:** i recommend asking if spot knows abt polyamory

**BetOnIt:** who said anything abt spot

**BetOnIt:** tf kelly

**GoodBi:** sure ok hypothetical

 

_ PM with ElmersGlue _

_ 4:11 AM UTC +10 _

 

**MuckityMucks:** have u ever heard of polyamory

 

_ PM with SpottedInBrooklyn _

_ 2:13 PM EST _

  
**BetOnIt:** have u ever heard abt polyamory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i am HEAVILY considering spralmer so im making a poll pls vote or comment your feelings or both!! love you guys!! 
> 
> http://www.strawpoll.me/13389618


	14. healthy communication!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theres a whole page of almer convo in this and im not sorry i love them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i spelled spots username as SpottedInAlbert while writing this

_ PM with ElmersGlue _

_ 4:11 AM UTC +10 _

 

**MuckityMucks:** have u ever heard of polyamory

**ElmersGlue:** Ive heard of it

**MuckityMucks:** wht do u know abt it

**ElmersGlue:** Not much

**ElmersGlue:** I just know it exists really

**MuckityMucks:** ok

**MuckityMucks:** well

**MuckityMucks:** its like wanting 2 b w more than 1 person at the same time

**ElmersGlue:** Ok yeah that makes sense

**MuckityMucks:** so like

**MuckityMucks:** how wld u feel if i said i was poly

**ElmersGlue:** Im fine with it but

**ElmersGlue:** What does that mean for us

**MuckityMucks:** well it wld mean that i, if you were ok with it, wld date/fuck other guys 

**MuckityMucks:** only if i talk 2 u abt it first tho

**MuckityMuck:** wed communicate abt everything

**ElmersGlue:** Ok

**ElmersGlue:** Im ok with that

**ElmersGlue:** Just as long as you talk to me about everything

**MuckityMucks:** ofc

**MuckityMucks:** speakin of talkin 2 u abt everything

**MuckityMucks:** race is pretty cool

**ElmersGlue:** Is he what made you ask about polyamory

**MuckityMucks:** ,,yes

**ElmersGlue:** Thats kind of cute

**MuckityMucks:** im glad u think my gay poly suffering is cute

**ElmersGlue:** It is the Cutest

**MuckityMucks:** hey guess what

**ElmersGlue:** What

**MuckityMucks:** ilu

**ElmersGlue:** ily2 

**MuckityMucks:** also go tf to bed wtf its 4 am

**ElmersGlue:** Youre awake 2

**MuckityMucks:** and

**MuckityMucks:** go to bed 

**ElmersGlue:** Goodnight babe  <3

**MuckityMucks:** goodnight sleep well<3<3

  
  


_ PM with SpottedInBrooklyn _

_ 2:13 PM EST _

 

**BetOnIt:** have u ever heard abt polyamory

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** yea

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** like jack?

**BetOnIt:** yeah like jack

**BetOnIt:** what r ur opinions on it

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** race if this is u telling me ur poly u dont gotta worry im fine w it

**SpottedInBrookyn:** also im p sure im poly 2

**BetOnIt:** o

**BetOnIt:** well tht makes my life easier

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** so albert huh

**BetOnIt:** what

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** u like albert

**BetOnIt:** um no

**BetOnIt:** idk what ur talkin about

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** u like him

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** i can tell bc im ur bf

**BetOnIt:** :/ i dont but ok

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** ok ill let u believe tht for now

 

_ The Musgayteers _

_ 2:30 EST _

 

**GoodBi:** im going to scream

**RidinInStyle:** ??

**GoodBi:** i dont want 2 say too much

**GoodBi:** but race and albert

**SeizeTheSnake:** What about Race and Albert?

**GoodBi:** u didnt here it from me but

**GoodBi:** they like each other

**RidinInStyle:** omg

**SeizeTheSnake:** Did they both tell you that?

**GoodBi:** well no

**GoodBi:** but they both did ask me v similar poly qs so

**RidinInStyle:** seems like a logical conclusion to me!

**SeizeTheSnake:** I wouldn’t go around making assumptions, but it does seem likely.

**GoodBi:** ok glad 2 have ur support in my assumptions

 

_ Seize the Gay _

_ 6:50 PM EST, 4:50 PM PST, 8:50 AM UTC+10 _

 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** im gay for spiderman

**GlassesAndAsses:** big fucking mood

**PatchedUp:** i havent seen it yet if u spoil it i have to kill u srry

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** im not a fuckin heathen 

**PatchedUp:** good

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i want 2 marry spiderman

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** no wait

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i want to BE spiderman

**GlassesAndAsses:** that means im dating spiderman

**GlassesAndAsses:** nice

**PatchedUp:** ok but consider: im spiderman

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** you havent even seen spiderman

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** fake fan

**PatchedUp:** im going to see it tomorrow with mush!!

**MushedPotatoes:** !! im so excited !!

**MushedPotatoes:** i cant wait for my date with my wonderful boyfriend and blink!!

**PatchedUp:** i cant wait for my date with my wonderful boyfriend and mush!!

**GlassesAndAsses:** wow i cant believe blush stole my bf

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** dw theres enough spidey to go around

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i can even nyoom over to oregon to b w my actual bf

**GlassesAndAsses:** thatd b gr8

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** b there in 5 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** _nyoom_

**GlassesAndAsses:** ur a dork

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** yes

**GlassesAndAsses:** a dork that i love

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** !!   
**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i love u too 

**MushedPotatoes:** y’all are adorable omg

 

_ h8 u both  _

_ 7 PM EST _

 

**ButterMeUp:** wanna go see spiderman together?

**JumpingJojo:** sure!

**HenryAndCheese:** when? not that it matters i have no life

**ButterMeUp:** u both free in like 2 hrs?

**JumpingJojo:** i am

**HenryAndCheese:** like i said i have no life

**ButterMeUp:** ok cool we r seeing it in 2 hrs see u then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so spralmer is happening but if you dont like them all dont worry there will still be sprace and almer content  
> also im spreading my henry/jojo/buttons agenda, i wrote a oneshot about them if youd like to read it!


	15. im a huge fuckin sap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a very romantic chapter bc i was in a sappy mood hope you enjoy

_ PM with GlassesAndAsses _

_ 9:30 PM EST, 6:30 PM PST _

 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i miss u :(

**GlassesAndAsses:** i miss u 2 :(

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i wish u lived closer 2 ny

**GlassesAndAsses:** so do i

**GlassesAndAsses:** ill b there for the group date tho

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** yeah but

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ur not here now :(

**GlassesAndAsses:** ik :(

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i just like

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** wish we could do relationship things

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** like cuddle

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** and kiss

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** and go on dates

**GlassesAndAsses:** god me too

**GlassesAndAsses:** wanna skype?

**GlassesAndAsses:** its not as good as the real thing but its better than just texting

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** yeah that wld b nice

**GlassesAndAsses:** i love you  <3

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i love u too  <3

 

_ PM with WatchWhatHappens _

_ 9:32 PM EST _

 

**GayerJacobs:** hey  <3

**WatchWhatHappens:** hey babe  <3

**GayerJacobs:** ik we just saw each other like a few days ago but it feels like so long

**GayerJacobs:** can we hang out soon?

**WatchWhatHappens:** of course!

**WatchWhatHappens:** do you want to go out and do something or would you rather stay home and just be with each other

**GayerJacobs:** i just wanna b with you 

**WatchWhatHappens:** ok!

**WatchWhatHappens:** is your house okay? I dont think i can get my dad to leave

**GayerJacobs:** yeah thats fine

**GayerJacobs:** i can kick davey out if necessary

**WatchWhatHappens:** you dont need to kick davey out!

**GayerJacobs:** nah he needs it

**GayerJacobs:** he only leaves the house for his date mates

**WatchWhatHappens:** let him live

**GayerJacobs:** im his sister its my job to annoy him

**WatchWhatHappens:** well cant argue with that logic

**WatchWhatHappens:** we got sidetracked

**GayerJacobs:** we did

**GayerJacobs:** how does 3 sound?

**WatchWhatHappens:** that works

**WatchWhatHappens:** i dont wake up until 2 anyways

**GayerJacobs:** lmao same

**WatchWhatHappens:** our sleep cycles are synced :D

**GayerJacobs:** wow lesbian goals????

**WatchWhatHappens:** wow!

**GayerJacobs:** hey i just got a fun home obc boot wanna rabb . it it?

**WatchWhatHappens:** yes!!!

**GayerJacobs:** ok talk to u in 5  <3<3<3

**WatchWhatHappens:** <3<3<3

 

_ PM with PatchedUp _

_ 9:34 PM EST _

 

**MushedPotatoes:** hi!  <3

**PatchedUp:** hey <3

**MushedPotatoes:** i just wanted to remind u how much i love you 

**MushedPotatoes:** (ps its thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much)

**PatchedUp:** o really

**PatchedUp:** well i love  _ you  _ thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much

**MushedPotatoes:** omg! Thats so much!

**PatchedUp:** i know!

**PatchedUp:** ive wanted to b with you ever since you first walked into that coffee shop

**MushedPotatoes:** omg

**MushedPotatoes:** i actually walked by the coffee shop a few times before i actually went in

**MushedPotatoes:** because the first time i tried to go in

**MushedPotatoes:** u were workin there

**MushedPotatoes:** and i was so shocked?? By the cute boy in the window??

**MushedPotatoes:** i had to try like…. 5 times before i had the courage to go in

**PatchedUp:** omg

**PatchedUp:** thats so adorable

**PatchedUp:** ur like???? The cutest person to ever exist wow

**MushedPotataoes:** i doubt the cutest person  _ ever  _ but ok whatever u say!

**PatchedUp:** u can trust me im ur bf

**MushedPotatoes:** wait really?!

**MushedPotatoes:** i didnt know!!

**PatchedUp:** yeah weve been dating for like 2 months now its pretty chill

**MushedPotatoes:** oh wow!!

**MushedPotatoes:** well congrats to us then!!

**PatchedUp:** thanks 

**PatchedUp:** i really think i found the one this time

**MushedPotatoes:** im happy 4 u

**MushedPotatoes:** hey can i tell u a secret

**PatchedUp:** sure!

**MushedPotatoes:** i think i found the one too

**PatchedUp:** :O

**PatchedUp:** <3!!

**MushedPotatoes:** <3!!!

**MushedPotatoes:** can i tell u another secret

**PatchedUp:** im all ears!

**MushedPotatoes:** i love you a whole lot!

**PatchedUp:** omg!

**PatchedUp:** i love you a whole lot too!

**MushedPotatoes:** :O

**PatchedUp:**  <3

**MushedPotatoes:** <3

 

_ PM with ElmersGlue _

_ 9:45 PM EST, 11:45 AM UTC +10 _

 

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** u up?

**ElmersGlue:** Yeah

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** have u talked to albo recently

**ElmersGlue:** Yes hes my bf

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** has he mentioned anything like

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** ya know

**ElmersGlue:** Ya know?

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** albo and race like each other

**ElmersGlue:** Oh yeah he mentioned

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** yeah but theres 1 problem

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** race wont admit he likes albo

**ElmersGlue:** Maybe he doesnt?

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** no he does

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** i can tell

**ElmersGlue:** Okay so how do we fix that?

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** im not sure yet

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** but i figured 2 brains r better than 1

**ElmersGlue:** Youre right

**ElmersGlue:** Ill tell you if i come up with anything

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** k thanks

 

_ h8 u both _

_ 9:49 PM EST _

 

**ButterMeUp:** heyy

**HenryAndCheese:** Hi

**JumpingJojo:** hi!

**ButterMeUp:** i have a ?

**ButterMeUp:** what do u guys kno abt polyamory

**HenryAndCheese:** Thats like wanting to be with more than one person at a time right?

**ButterMeUp:** yeah

**ButterMeUp:** n i just wanted 2 tell u guys that im poly

**HenryAndCheese:** Oh cool

**JumpingJojo:** ok!!

**JumpingJojo:** can i ask you a question

**ButterMeUp:** sure??

**JumpingJojo:** how did you figure out youre poly

**ButterMeUp:** uh

**ButterMeUp:** well

**ButterMeUp:** there are these 2 guys and i think id like 2 date them both

**ButterMeUp:** even tho idk if theyre poly :/

**JumpingJojo:** oh ok

**ButterMeUp:** anyways r we still meeting up tomorrow

**HenryAndCheese:** Yeah 

**HenryAndCheese:** Ive got the car for tomorrow

**ButterMeUp:** omg

**ButterMeUp:** can i drive

**JumpingJojo:** i dont trust your driving skills

**HenryAndCheese:** No youre a terrible driver

**ButterMeUp:** D:

**ButterMeUp:** ur both so rude 2 me

**ButterMeUp:** y do i call u my friends 

**JumpingJojo:** because you love us

**ButterMeUp:** yeah

**ButterMeUp:** yeah i do

 

_ Seize the Gay _

_ 10:10 PM EST, 7:10 PM PST, 12:10 PM UTC+10 _

 

**GoodBi:** so r u guys dead

**GoodBi:** ok guess i have no friends now

**MuckityMucks:** good riddance

**GoodBi:** r00d

**BetOnIt:** did u even have friends 2 begin with

**GoodBi:** R00D

**MuckityMucks:** tht doesnt have the same effect

**GoodBi:** y does everyone h8 me

**RidinInStyle:** i dont h8 u

**GoodBi:** aw thanks

**SeizeTheSnake:** You’re okay, I guess.

**GoodBi:** betrayed by my own bf

**GoodBi:** wow

**SeizeTheSnake:** Haha, I’m kidding. I love you!

**GoodBi:** i love you too <3

**RidinInStyle:** love you both <3

**SeizeTheSnake:** <3

**GoodBi:** <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blease,, make henry/jojo/buttons blow up,, blease


	16. harry potter and pining!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> blease dont start hogwarts house discourse,, we're all friends here!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thnx to phi for being romeo in the dms with race

_ PM with WhereforeArtThouDICK  _

_ 7:10 PM EST _

 

**BetOnIt:** hey

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** hey ;)

**BetOnIt:** ;)

**BetOnIt:** anyways i have a q 4 u

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** good rhyme

**BetOnIt:** thnx

**BetOnIt:** so

**BetOnIt:** how do u deal with a long distance relationship

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** OOOOH! IS THIS ABOUT ALBERT?!

**BetOnIt:** what no why does everyone think that

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** :/ ok

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** but 2 answer ur question

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** u die

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** cry

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** cry and die

**BetOnIt:** serious tips u asshole

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** r00d

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** but ok seriously

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** voice and video calling can help

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** talk abt meeting up n talk honestly

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** when u think u cld do it  _ for real  _ etc

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** b honest with feelings bc ldr is already hard enough w/o miscommunication

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** thats all i can think of for now but if i come up with anything else ill tell u 

**BetOnIt:** thanks

**BetOnIt:** ur the best

**BetOnIt:** ur like… ldr yoda

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** thats the nicest thing uve ever said to me

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** and ofc dude

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** im always here to cry abt how far away our bfs r

**BetOnIt:** im not dating anyone far away

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** yet

**BetOnIt:** ,,,,possibly

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** :D

**BetOnIt:** shut up

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** my lips are sealed!

  
  


_ PM with GlassesAndAsses _

_ 7:20 PM EST, 4:20 PM PST _

 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** SPECS!!!!!

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** SPECSSPECSSPECS

**GlassesAndAsses:** yes?

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** RACE LIKES ALBERT !!!!!!!!!

**GlassesAndAsses:** omg !

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** i fuCKING CALLED IT !!!!!!!1

**GlassesAndAsses:** i know

**GlassesAndAsses:** youve talked about it multiple times

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** now i need to devise an epic plan to get them together

**GlassesAndAsses:** im all for epic plans but shouldnt you let them work it out themselves?

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ur probably right

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** but if it takes too long im meddling

**GlassesAndAsses:** ok i can live with that

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** wanna skype?

**GlassesAndAsses:** always  <3

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** <3

 

_ Seize the Gay _

_ 7:27 PM EST, 4:27 PM PST, 9:27 AM UTC +10 _

 

**GoodBi:** important question: what hogwarts house is everyone

**GoodBi:** im gryff, obviously

**SeizeTheSnake:** I’m split between Slytherin and Ravenclaw.

**RidinInStyle:** i think im a hufflepuff but i quite like gryffindor as well

**GoodBi:** that was so formal

**GoodBi:** daveys rubbing off on u

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** ;)

**GoodBi:** dont

**WatchWhatHappens:** im a slytherin

**GayerJacobs:** i think im a hufflepuff? maybe? who knows

**MushedPotatoes:** im the most hufflepuff person i know

**PatchedUp:** im a slyth

**BetOnIt:** im a gryff obv

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** slyhterin 

**ElmersGlue:** Im a hufflepuff

**MuckityMucks:** m a gryffinbro

**ButterMeUp:** hm

**ButterMeUp:** slytherpuff

**ButterMeUp:** depending on my mood

**JumpingJojo:** im a hufflepuff!

**HenryAndCheese:** Im not really sure

**HenryAndCheese:** I havent thought about it much

**GoodBi:** bye

**GoodBi:** blocct

**ButterMeUp:** i think ur a hufflepuff

**HenryAndCheese:** Okay I guess Im a hufflepuff then

**GoodBi:** ok thank u 4 ur time

 

_ h8 u both _

_ 8:10 PM EST _

 

**ButterMeUp:** heyy

**JumpingJojo:** hi!

**HenryAndCheese:** Hey

**ButterMeUp:** this is ur daily reminder that ur both amazing wonderful humans and i love you both

**JumpingJojo:** aww!! Youre pretty great too buttons!

**HenryAndCheese:** Youre a wonderful human too

**ButterMeUp:** :D

 

_ PM with ElmersGlue _

_ 8:15 PM EST, 10:15 AM UTC+10 _

 

**ButterMeUp:** elmer im dying

**ElmersGlue:** Why are you dying?

**ButterMeUp:** im trying to flirt but i cant tell if theyre flirting back

**ElmersGlue:** Rip

**ElmersGlue:** Henry and Jojo?

**ButterMeUp:** y e s

**ButterMeUp:** are they being affectionate friends? are they flirting? who knows!

**ElmersGlue:** I think if its gone on this long theres gotta be atleast a little flirting

**ButterMeUp:** if i die,,,, i leave them my heart

**ButterMeUp:** thats my whole will the rest of my stuff can go in the trash

**ElmersGlue:** Theres no need to be so dramatic

**ElmersGlue:** You could just ask them 

**ButterMeUp:** thats the worst thing youve ever said

**ButterMeUp:** i cant just…  _ ask _

**ButterMeUp:** i could get like….  _ rejected _

**ElmersGlue:** Yes but you could also get  _ accepted _

**ButterMeUp:** thats a risk im not willing to take my dude

**ButterMeUp:** ok well thnx 4 the chat im going to go wallow in self pity and Suffer

**ElmersGlue:** Have fun with that!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buttons is my son and i would die for him ok thanks


	17. love triangles?? nono, love dodecahedrons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyones pining after atleast one(1) person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a v spelmer chapter,, blame sam  
> also there ended up being like a page of spj so @ phi ur welc

_Seize the Gay_

_6:14 PM EST, 3:14 PM PST, 8:14 AM UTC+10_

 

 **MuckityMucks:** any time b4 12pm is too early 2 b awake

 **BetOnIt:** why tf r u up

 **GlassesAndAsses:** isnt it like 8 am over there?

 **MuckityMucks:** yes sadly

 **ElmersGlue:** We have school

 **WhereforeArtThouDICK:** wild

 **PatchedUp:** why do you have school??

 **ElmersGlue:** Because it’s winter so we have a different schedule

 **ButterMeUp:** wait its winter??

 **BetOnIt:** Wild

 **RidinInStyle:** does that mean your christmas is in summer??

 **MuckityMucks:** ye

 **RidinInStyle:** i dont know that i could live with that

 **ElmersGlue:** Hanukkah’s in summer too

 **SeizeTheSnake:** I remember learning you guys are opposite us in seasons, but it’s still strange to think about celebrating Hanukkah in summer.

 **BetOnIt:** do u have like,, christmas trees

 **MuckityMucks:** yes dumbass

 **BetOnIt:** but… isnt it like… hot?

 **MuckityMucks:** what does that have to do with a fake tree

 **RidinInStyle:** :O you use fake trees only?!?!

 **RidinInStyle:** i could never live in australia

 **MuckityMucks:** just watch this

 **MuckityMucks:** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDb8tlb-2y8&feature=youtu.be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDb8tlb-2y8&feature=youtu.be)

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** i dont know what i was expecting but it was not that

 **BetOnIt:** no thats exactly what i was expecting

 **BetOnIt:** australia is wild

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** ur right idk why i thought it wldnt b weird

 

_MuckityMucks has added BetOnIt, ElmersGlue, and SpottedInBrooklyn to a group chat_

 

_MuckityMucks has named the groupchat ‘bros being bros’_

 

 **MuckityMucks:** welcome losers

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** y wld u ever think i want to b in a gc w u dumb fucks

 **BetOnIt:** wow r00d

 

_PM with ElmersGlue_

 

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** this is perfect

 **ElmersGlue:**??

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** the bros being bros groupchat

 **ElmersGlue:** What about it

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** its the perfect opportunity to get race and albert to realize they like each other

 **ElmersGlue:** Oh!

 **ElmersGlue:** Youre right

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** mission racebert begins

 **ElmersGlue:** Racebert? No

 **ElmersGlue:** Ralbert

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** ok fine

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** mission _ralbert_ begins

 **ElmersGlue:** Better

 

_bros being bros_

 

 **ElmersGlue:** Dont you have a test today al

 **MuckityMucks:** yes and

 **ElmersGlue:** You should be studying or paying attention in class or something

 **MuckityMucks:** nah

 **BetOnIt:** who needs studying when you can just,, not

 **MuckityMucks:** yeah race gets me

 **BetOnIt:** (Face Throwing A Kiss )

 **BetOnIt:** ^^bro kisses

 **MuckityMucks:** aw bro

 

_PM with ElmersGlue_

 

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** this is the gayest thing ive ever seen

 **ElmersGlue:** At this rate they wont even need our intervention

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** i think ur doubting races capability to ignore his emotions

 **ElmersGlue:** Possibly

 **ElmersGlue:** But he did manage to start dating you somehow

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:**....ur right

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** ur a smart guy

 **ElmersGlue:** Thanks

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** yw

 

_PM with MuckityMucks_

 

 **ElmersGlue:** Hey

 **MuckityMucks:** hey

 **ElmersGlue:** Can I tell you something?

 **MuckityMucks:** ofc

 **ElmersGlue:** I think im poly

 **MuckityMucks:** cool!

 **MuckityMucks:** is there any special someone(s) who inspired this

 **ElmersGlue:** Possibly

 **MuckityMucks:** whomst?!

 **ElmersGlue:** Possibly someone whos name rhymes with dot

 **MuckityMucks:** ooh u like spot

 **ElmersGlue:** Only possibly

 **MuckityMucks:** sure

 

_PM with SpottedInBrooklyn_

 

 **ElmersGlue:** Can I tell you something?

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** sure

 **ElmersGlue:** Im poly

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** o nice

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** me 2

 **ElmersGlue:** Cool

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** cool

 

_PM with BetOnIt_

 

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** so have u come to terms with liking al yet

 **BetOnIt:** um

 **BetOnIt:** no?

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** :/ ok

 **BetOnIt:** but

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** but?

 **BetOnIt:** i think,,

 **BetOnIt:** i like elmer

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** what

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** i,, did not expect that

 **BetOnIt:** is that… ok

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** well yeah

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** im just surprised

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** i was like 90% sure you liked al

 **BetOnIt:** well u were wrong

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** i see that

 

_PM with ElmersGlue_

 

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** there has been a dilemma

 **ElmersGlue:** ?

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** race just told me who he likes

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** and its not al

 **ElmersGlue:** Oh

 **ElmersGlue:** Well who does he like?

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** thats confidential information

 **ElmersGlue:** Okay?

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** but anyways

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** either i read race entirely wrong

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** or

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** he likes _two_ guys

 **ElmersGlue:** Which is more likely?

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** the second one

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** atleast i think

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** but who knows anymore

 

_PM with GoodBi_

 

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** jack

 **GoodBi:** spot

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** hypothetically

 **GoodBi:** not again

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** if u thought ur bf liked this one guy

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** but it turns out he likes this other guy

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** but then u think guy 1 likes ur bf

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** and theres a small chance u like guy 2

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** what wld u do

 **GoodBi:** uh

 **GoodBi:** what the fuck

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** do i need to draw u a diagram

 **GoodBi:** actually yes thatd b helpful

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** <http://imgur.com/gallery/N6Yes>

**GoodBi:** well

 **GoodBi:** that is quite the pickle u r in

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** this is all hypothetical

 **GoodBi:** yeah thats why u wrote ‘me’ in the diagram

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** shut up

 **GoodBi:** y r u coming to me for help

 **GoodBi:** do i look like i have experience with this

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** well no

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** but i cldnt exactly go to bf guy 1 or guy 2 abt this

 **GoodBi:** so im ur 4th choice? gee im touched

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** r u gonna help or not

 **GoodBi:** ok fine

 **GoodBi:** what if

 **GoodBi:** and this is a wild concept

 **GoodBi:** you _talk_

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** no wtf

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** ok bye i dont need ur help

 **GoodBi:** r00d

 **GoodBi:** also ur handwriting sucks

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** have u ever seen ur handwriting kelly

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** its literally chicken scratch

 **GoodBi:** wow i cant believe u h8 me

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** i thought that was common knowledge

 **GoodBi:** :’(

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** ur such a drama king

 **GoodBi:** >:(

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** stop

 **GoodBi:** ;)

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** ok no im leaving

 **GoodBi:** D:

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** use ur fuckin words

 **GoodBi:** ill use mine when you use urs

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** i hate that i cant invalidate that statement

 **GoodBi:** :D

 **SpottedInBrooklyn:** :I

 **GoodBi:** :D!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jess the australian was all my australian info this chapter so if u think its wrong blame her!  
> also sam drew the love diagram appreciate them  
> in case youre confused by the diagram: spot and race are dating, spot likes elmer, race likes elmer, spot THOUGHT race liked albo, and albo likes race but spot doesnt know that


	18. selfie party!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> selfie party and lots of pining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u can thank sam for like... half the things that happen this chapter hes amazing and i love him 
> 
> a convo between me and sam on the seize the gay doc: "Sometimes i forget i can write on this doc but here i am (also ily dakootles even tho u made me sob over ur hjb fic)" "ily2 making u sob is my greatest accomplishment in life" "thats mean dakootles"

_Seize the Gay_

_2:14 AM EST, 11:14 PM PST, 4:14 PM UTC+10_

 

**RidinInStyle:** we should have a selfie party!

**JumpingJojo:** whats that?

**MushedPotatoes:** we all send selfies and compliment each other!! its a lot of fun

**ButterMeUp:** im down

**RidinInStyle:** who wants to go first?

**GoodBi** : ill go first

**GoodBi:** [bicon.png]

**RidinInStyle:** IM! GAY!

**SeizeTheSnake:** Wow! My boyfriend is so handsome and I love him a lot!

**BetOnIt:** 10/10 best bi icon, next to myself

**WatchWhatHappens:** for once your hair isn’t a mess

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** (Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes )

**RidinInStyle:** me next!!

**RidinInStyle:** [sunshine.png]

**GoodBi:** wow im GAY!!!

**SeizeTheSnake:** Wow! My date mate is so attractive and I love them a lot!

**MushedPotatoes:** UR SO CUTE CRUTCHIE!!!

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** (Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes ) (Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes )

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** im gay!

**SeizeTheSnake:** [selfie18.png]

**GoodBi:** im GAY!! (part 2)

**RidinInStyle:** this is exhibit B of wow im gay and i love my bfs

**ButterMeUp:** Y E S!!

**WatchWhatHappens:** amazing

**BetOnIt:** [gremlin.png]

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** disgusting

**MuckityMucks:** u may b a gremlin but ur a cute gremlin

**BetOnIt:** spot im ditching u 4 albert we r married now

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** (Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes ) ur truly an icon

**GlassesAndAsses:** [GrandJeté.png]

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** HOLY SHIT!!!!

**PatchedUp:** how does ur body do that wtf

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** (Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes ) (Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes ) (Splashing Sweat Symbol ≊ Sweat Droplets) (Splashing Sweat Symbol ≊ Sweat Droplets)

**BetOnIt:** Romeo Found Dead In Manhattan

**ElmersGlue:** [MyFamilysAMess.png]

**ElmersGlue:** Thats the first one i could find im the one in the middle soaking wet looking like i want to die

**GoodBi:** are all 8 of those people ur siblings?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!

**ElmersGlue:** Yeah

**GayerJacobs:** i can barely handle two wtf

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** holy fuck el

**ElmersGlue:** Its not that big of a deal??

 

_PM with SpottedInBrooklyn_

 

**BetOnIt:** wtf elmers so cute

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** yeah he is

**BetOnIt:** wait what

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** what

**BetOnIt:** you think elmers cute???

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** uh

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** yeah

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** is that ok

**BetOnIt:** yeah i just didnt know u liked him too

**BetOnIt:** if only he were poly

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** ha yeah

**BetOnIt:** ??

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** nothing

 

_Seize the Gay_

 

**MuckityMucks:** [gay.png]

**ElmersGlue:** Im gay!!!!!!!!

**BetOnIt:** holy shit ur hot

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** 10/10

 

_PM with SpottedInBrooklyn_

 

**GoodBi:** (Eyes )

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** stfu

 

_Seize the Gay_

 

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** (Splashing Sweat Symbol ≊ Sweat Droplets) (Splashing Sweat Symbol ≊ Sweat Droplets) (Splashing Sweat Symbol ≊ Sweat Droplets)

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** [1977482.png]

**BetOnIt:** GOD YES MY BF IS SO HOT (Weary Face )(Weary Face )(Splashing Sweat Symbol ≊ Sweat Droplets)(Splashing Sweat Symbol ≊ Sweat Droplets)

**GoodBi:** spot how tf

**RidinInStyle:** im gay!!

 

_PM with MuckityMucks_

 

**ElmersGlue:** _Holy shit_

**ElmersGlue:** Al have you ever seen a man so beautiful you started crying

**MuckityMucks:** spot?

**ElmersGlue:** Yes

**ElmersGlue:** There are actual tears going down my face right now

**MuckityMucks:** omg

**MuckityMucks:** ur adorable

 

_bros being bros_

 

**ElmersGlue:** I know Ive already told two of you but I just wanted to say that im poly

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** o hey me 2

**MuckityMucks:** Mme 3

**BetOnIt:** me4

**MuckityMucks:** wild

**BetOnIt:** its like how gays flock together but polys instead of gays

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** we r also all gays

**BetOnIt:** well yes

 

_PM with SpottedInBrooklyn_

 

**BetOnIt:** oh my god

**BetOnIt:** theyre both poly

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** i knew abt elmer but i didnt wanna out him to u

**BetOnIt:** h o l y  s h i t

**BetOnIt:** we actually have a chance!

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** well

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** we dont know if they reciprocate feelings

**BetOnIt:** we dont :/

**BetOnIt:** wait

**BetOnIt:** do u like al too

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** yeah

**BetOnIt:** o nice

**BetOnIt:** dont worry ill do some inside scooping to find out if he likes u

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** gee thanks im sure thatll help so much

**BetOnIt:** r u doubting my spy abilities

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** u dont have spy abilities

**BetOnIt:** r00d

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** im only stating the facts

 

_Seize the Gay_

 

**WatchWhatHappens:** [me.png]

**GayerJacobs:** KATH UR SO BEAUTIFUL EVERYONE I LOVE MY GORGEOUS GF!!!!

**GoodBi:** (Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes )(Smiling Face With Heart-Shaped Eyes )

**GayerJacobs:** [gayy.png]

**WatchWhatHappens:** IM GAY!!!!

**MushedPotatoes:** youre both adorable!!!

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** u know what we need?

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** a nut emoji

**GoodBi:** this groupchat is cancelled bye everyone

**WhereforeArtThouDICK:** let me nut jack

**GoodBi:** bi bi  (Waving Hand Sign ≊ Waving Hand)(Waving Hand Sign ≊ Waving Hand)

**MushedPotatoes:** [876824.png]

**PatchedUp:** Y  (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands) E (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands) S (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands)

**JumpingJojo:** [screenshot_12324.png]

**JumpingJojo:** ^^thats me buttons and henry!!

**RidinInStyle:** ur all so cute!!

 

_PM with ButterMeUp_

 

**ElmersGlue:** You three look pretty close

**ButterMeUp:** ur the worst

**ElmersGlue:** Im just saying if you asked them out theyd probably say yes

**ButterMeUp:** sounds fake but ok

**ElmersGlue** : Buttons im being honest, you guys are all really close. Whats the worse that could happen?

**ButterMeUp:** 1) they cld reject me

**ButterMeUp:** 2) what if it ruins our friendship bc they dont like me back

**ButterMeUp:** 3) they cld reject me

**ElmersGlue:** If theyre really your friends they wouldnt stop being friends with you just because you have a crush on them

**ElmersGlue:** And rejection isnt that bad

**ButterMeUp:** ok then how abt u ask spot out

**ElmersGlue:** Thats the worst idea youve ever had

**ButterMeUp:** ill make u a deal ill ask henry and jojo out when u ask spot and race out

**ElmersGlue:** Deal

**ButterMeUp:** and with that i go to bed

**ButterMeUp:** goodnight

**ElmersGlue:** Goodnight sleep well!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u liked this u shld check out the two fics i uploaded today, ones spralmer and ones hjb (henry/jojo/buttons)


	19. the gays are back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its guh-guh-gayy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for this taking so long im a mess 
> 
> i dedicate this to the newsies discord <3

_Seize The Gay_

_5:20 PM EST, 2:20 PM PST, 7:20 AM UTC+10_

 

**GayerJacobs:** its time for a change

 

_GayerJacobs has changed their name to SapphicSarah_

 

**SapphicSarah:** there

**GoodBi:** thats gay

**SapphicSarah:** thats the point

 

_WatchWhatHappens has changed their name to LipsticKath_

 

**SapphicSarah:** we r lesbian couple goals

**LipsticKath:** We are

**LipsticKath:** {kissing face emoji}

**SapphicSarah:** {cat kissing face emoji}

**SaphhicSarah:** wait

**SapphicSarah:** i didnt mean to send that

**SapphicSarah:** or did i {thinking face emoji}

**GoodBi:** The Truth Come Out: Does Sarah Jacobs Is Furry?

**SeizeTheSnake:** I don’t want to think about my sister being a furry.

**SapphicSarah:** thats furryphobic

**LipsticKath:** I still love you even if youre a furry

**SapphicSarah:** aww id love you even if u were a furry too

**LipsticKath:** <3

**SapphicSarah:** <3

 

_PM with ElmersGlue_

 

**ButterMeUp:** im dying

**ElmersGlue:** Gay dying?

**ButterMeUp:** yes

**ButterMeUp:** im watching henry cook

**ButterMeUp:** hes so beautiful

**ElmersGlue:** Thats kinda gay

**ButterMeUp:** im so gay

**ButterMeUp:** im the most gay to ever gay

 

_bros being bros_

 

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** [gymdate.png]

**MuckityMucks:** holy shit u guys r muscley

**ElmersGlue:** I cant believe im surrounded by cute muscley boys

 

_PM with ButterMeUp_

 

**ElmersGlue:** Ive just been murdered by the muscles of spot conlon and racetrack higgins

**ButterMeUp:** i retract my previous statement

**ButterMeUp:** _we_ are the most gays to ever gay

**ElmersGlue:** Ur so right

 

_bros being bros_

 

**ElmersGlue:** God i wish i had muscles

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** if u want i cld like teach u what i do?

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** thatd b easier if we cld do it in person

**ElmersGlue:** Well we’ll just have to meet in person then

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** the sooner the better

**BetOnIt:** i cld teach u too if u want

**ElmersGlue:** Yes pls

 

_PM with BetOnIt_

 

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** this is prime time to ask elmer out

**BetOnIt:** do u want to or shld i

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** we shld do it at the same time

**BetOnIt:** k

 

_bros being bros_

 

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** hey el wanna go out with me?

**BetOnIt:** i cld teach you how to date me too ;)

 

_PM with MuckityMucks_

 

**ElmersGlue:** Did they just ask me out?!?!?!

**MuckityMucks:** yes!!

**ElmersGlue:** What do i say?!

**MuckityMucks:** u say yes ofc

**ElmersGlue:** But what about you?

**MuckityMucks:** ill b fine

 

_bros being bros_

 

**ElmersGlue:** Yes!

**ElmersGlue:** To both of you

**BetOnIt:** YES

**MuckityMucks:** im happy 4 u guys

 

_PM with BetOnIt_

 

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** r u still denying ur feelings for al or can we ask him out too

**BetOnIt:** ,,,,,,,,we can ask him out

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** took u long enough

 

_bros being bros_

 

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** u wanna join al?

**MuckityMucks:** join like… all 3 of u?

**SpottedInBrooklyn:** yea bro

**MuckityMucks:** sure bro

**BetOnIt:** im calling u all on skype pick up or i fight u in a dennys parking lot

 

_PM with ButterMeUp_

 

**ElmersGlue:** BUTTONS!

**ButterMeUp:** elmer!

**ElmersGlue:** Im officially dating albert spot _and_ race!!

**ButterMeUp:** AAAH!!

**ButterMeUp:** IM SO HAPPY FOR U!!!!!

**ElmersGlue:** I havent stopped smiling for abt an hour

**ElmersGlue:** We were skyping during our free period

**ButterMeUp:** awww

**ButterMeUp:** thats gay

**ElmersGlue:** You know what else could be gay?

**ElmersGlue:** You henry and jojo

**ElmersGlue:** You have to ask them out we have a deal

**ButterMeUp:** i was hoping ud forgotten abt that

**ElmersGlue:** An elmer never forgets

**ButterMeUp:** :/

**ButterMeUp:** ohymgod

**ElmersGlue:**?

**ButterMeUp:** we r making a cake

**ButterMeUp:** by we i mean henrys making it while me and jojo eat everything

**ButterMeUp:** and jojo just put icing on henrys nose

**ButterMeUp:** im gonna cry this is so cute

**ButterMeUp:** theyre so cute

**ButterMeUp:** brb i have a food fight to join

**ElmersGlue:** Omg

**ElmersGlue:** This is prime time to ask them out

**ButterMeUp:** ELMER

**ButterMeUp:** I KISSED THEM

**ButterMeUp:** WE WERE ALL STANDING THERE COVERED IN FLOUR AND ICING AND SUGAR

**ButterMeUp:** AND THEY WERE SO CUTE I ALMOST CRIED

**ButterMeUp:** SO I KISSED THEM

**ButterMeUp:** ONE RIGHT AFTER THE OTHER

**ButterMeUp:** AND THEY KISSED ME BACK!!

**ButterMeUp:** AND NOW I HAVE TWO(2) BOYFRIENDS

**ButterMeUp:** AND IM CUDDLING BOTH OF THEM WHILE EATING CAKE

**ElmersGlue:** NICE

**ButterMeUp:** today is a Good Day

**ElmersGlue:** Yeah it is

**ElmersGlue:** Now go cuddle your boyfriends i have school to do

**ButterMeUp:** gladly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u liked it! pls tell me things in the comments i need constant validation

**Author's Note:**

> lmao this is terrible but i hope you enjoyed comment what u thought even if its bad thanks !!


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